Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Doom

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)
Breaking, Games News

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, can you believe it? Routine, the game that was supposed to drop back when the Mayan…

CNN’s July 9th Dumpster Fire: 5 Things You Can’t Unsee (Texas is Drowning, Ukraine’s Still There, Gaza’s Still There Too, New Mexico Joins the Flood Party, and Epstein’s Ghost Writes a Memo)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s July 9th Dumpster Fire: 5 Things You Can’t Unsee (Texas is Drowning, Ukraine’s Still There, Gaza’s Still There Too, New Mexico Joins the Flood Party, and Epstein’s Ghost Writes a Memo)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, the liberal media is at it again, trying to distract you from President Trump’s AMAZING accomplishments. They’re pushing their…

Night Shift: 8 Years of Sleep Deprivation, One Nurse’s Descent into Madness (via CNN)
Elephant Reads CNN

Night Shift: 8 Years of Sleep Deprivation, One Nurse’s Descent into Madness (via CNN)

Big ElephantJuly 8, 2025July 8, 2025

Another day, another attack on hardworking Americans! This time, the liberal media is targeting night shift workers, trying to scare…

Stocks Soar While Wall Street Sweats Tariffs (LOL)
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Soar While Wall Street Sweats Tariffs (LOL)

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, Wall Street’s “highly anticipating” what President Trump’s about to unleash? More like trembling in their overpriced boots! These traders…

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic Housing Dreams vs Reality: A Hilarious Tragedy
Elephant Reads CNN

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic Housing Dreams vs Reality: A Hilarious Tragedy

Big ElephantJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom, even with President Trump crushing it for a second term! Now they’re…

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity
Breaking

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

So, IRON MAIDEN’s very own air raid siren, Bruce Dickinson, is gracing us with a “reworked” version of his ’90s…

John Romero’s Daikatana 2: Electric Boogaloo Gets Axed, Gamers Rejoice (Maybe)
Breaking, Games News

John Romero’s Daikatana 2: Electric Boogaloo Gets Axed, Gamers Rejoice (Maybe)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, the humanity! 😭 Microsoft, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided to wield the banhammer of budget…

DHS and FBI Warn of Impending Doom (aka July 4th Fireworks) by Lone Wolves
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS and FBI Warn of Impending Doom (aka July 4th Fireworks) by Lone Wolves

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Looks like the Deep State is at it again, folks! The FBI and DHS are issuing warnings about July 4th…

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell
Breaking, Music News

Armageddon from WARKINGS: The Ultimate Block Party From Hell

Chord F. DiscordJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

Ah yes, WARKINGS. Those titans of… uh… Western European metal?🤔 I guess that’s a thing now. Anyway, they’ve apparently put…

Adulting is Hard: Making Bank Moves While the World’s on Fire
Elephant Reads CNN

Adulting is Hard: Making Bank Moves While the World’s on Fire

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

CNN, still peddling their doom and gloom, are at it again! Apparently, the world is ending because you might have…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 21 22 23 … 28 Next

Latest posts

  • Fresh Faces Head to Congress to Explain All the Chaos They Made
  • Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws
  • Frank Ferrer Leaves Guns N Roses Because Even He Got Bored
  • Graham’s Departure Sparks Thrilling Game of Musical Chairs in Washington
  • JAY-Z’s Yankee Stadium Gig Delayed Due to Security Issue

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}