Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: emo

Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”
Breaking, Movie News

Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”

FinnOctober 21, 2025October 25, 2025

Wow, Adam Driver, bless his heart, actually thought Disney would let him make a whole Star Wars film about Kylo…

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

Slipknot’s Sid Wilson Barfs Out VOMIT FACE RECORDS Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

Sid Wilson, the guy who mashes buttons in SLIPKNOT (yeah, that band your mom hates 👵), has launched Vomit Face…

Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless Claims to Have Made “Lifelong Friends” With AC/DC (Yeah, Right)
Breaking, Music News

Taylor Momsen of The Pretty Reckless Claims to Have Made “Lifelong Friends” With AC/DC (Yeah, Right)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 28, 2025September 28, 2025

In a recent appearance on The Mistress Carrie Podcast, Taylor Momsen, the reigning queen of Hot Topic anthems, gushed about…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE Announces ‘The Black Parade 2026’ Tour (Because They Need the Money)
Live, Music News

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE Announces ‘The Black Parade 2026’ Tour (Because They Need the Money)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

So, like, apparently, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, those emo dinosaurs 🦖, are STILL trying to milk their “Long Live: The Black…

Aerosmith and Who Now Team Up For a Song No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Aerosmith and Who Now Team Up For a Song No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

AEROSMITH’s geriatric rock god, Steven Tyler, and the one and only Joe Perry, who probably wandered into the studio by…

Gamera vs Emo Tentacle Monster: A Tragedy in One Act
Live

Gamera vs Emo Tentacle Monster: A Tragedy in One Act

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 30, 2025

OMG! 😱Secret Movie Club presents: GAMERA 3: REVENGE OF IRIS!💥Million Dollar Theater, August 31, 2025, 3pm!🤯 FREE tix if you…

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round! Dying Light is back, promising more of that rooftop parkour that you totally didn’t rage-quit on…

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly
Breaking, Music News

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

OMG 😱, has it REALLY been “forever” since we saw Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2? Like, I’m pretty sure…

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens
Breaking, Music News

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, those elder statesmen of Hot Topic metalcore, are apparently still at it! 👴🏻 They’re gracing us…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 Next

Latest posts

  • Gypsy Rose’s boyfriend calls it quits on life at 34
  • Slipknot and Hilary Duff Lead New Ticket Sales Today
  • Metallica Kicks Off Las Vegas Sphere Residency With Epic Show
  • Wishy Dissects New Album Nature’s Pill In Exclusive Track By Track
  • Letterboxd Holds Seance To Ask James Dean His 4 Favorite Movies

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.