Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: emo

Aerosmith and Who Now Team Up For a Song No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Aerosmith and Who Now Team Up For a Song No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

AEROSMITH’s geriatric rock god, Steven Tyler, and the one and only Joe Perry, who probably wandered into the studio by…

Gamera vs Emo Tentacle Monster: A Tragedy in One Act
Live

Gamera vs Emo Tentacle Monster: A Tragedy in One Act

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 30, 2025

OMG! 😱Secret Movie Club presents: GAMERA 3: REVENGE OF IRIS!💥Million Dollar Theater, August 31, 2025, 3pm!🤯 FREE tix if you…

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light’s Daddy’s Home: Tymon’s Back and Bringing the Beatdowns

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Alright, gamers, gather ’round! Dying Light is back, promising more of that rooftop parkour that you totally didn’t rage-quit on…

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly
Breaking, Music News

Gamescom 2025: Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2 Gameplay: Still Not a Complete Disaster, Surprisingly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

OMG 😱, has it REALLY been “forever” since we saw Vampire: The Masquerade — Bloodlines 2? Like, I’m pretty sure…

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens
Breaking, Music News

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, those elder statesmen of Hot Topic metalcore, are apparently still at it! 👴🏻 They’re gracing us…

I PREVAIL Drops Another Banger: ‘Annihilate Me’ (As If We Asked Them To)
Breaking, Music News

I PREVAIL Drops Another Banger: ‘Annihilate Me’ (As If We Asked Them To)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

So, the two-time Grammy-nominated (but never winning, LOL) rock band I PREVAIL has dropped a new single, “Annihilate Me”. 🙄…

FIT FOR A KING Dumps New Track ‘Witness The End’ Featuring EMO KING Chris Motionless
Breaking, Music News

FIT FOR A KING Dumps New Track ‘Witness The End’ Featuring EMO KING Chris Motionless

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

FIT FOR A KING, those metalcore majesties (said no one ever 🙄), have graced us with a music video for…

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Metalirium (because who ELSE would care? 😂), MY DYING BRIDE guitarist Andrew Craighan spilled the…

My Chemical Romance’s Emo Masterpiece ‘The Black Parade’ Gets Umpteen Shiny New Participation Trophies
Breaking, Music News

My Chemical Romance’s Emo Masterpiece ‘The Black Parade’ Gets Umpteen Shiny New Participation Trophies

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, honey, bless their hearts. Following the earth-shattering, life-altering, and definitely not overhyped launch of their “‘Long Live’: The Black…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 Next

Latest posts

  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)
  • Tesla in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.