Wow, Adam Driver, bless his heart, actually thought Disney would let him make a whole Star Wars film about Kylo Ren? 😂Honey, no. Disney ain’t that desperate… yet. I mean, I guess we’re all allowed to dream. But seriously, did he not see ‘The Rise of Skywalker’? More like ‘The Rise of Bad Decisions.’
In an interview with the Associated Press, our dear Adam revealed he’s been plotting this cinematic masterpiece since 2021, because he “loved that character and loved playing him.” Oh, honey, we get it. You liked wearing the emo mask and flinging tantrums with the Force. Join the club. 🙄
Yes, for those who somehow forgot (or repressed the memory), Driver played Kylo Ren in the sequel Star Wars films. You know, the ones everyone loves to hate, or hates to love, or just hates. Seriously, ‘The Last Jedi’ still gives me nightmares. The films are ‘The Force Awakens,’ ‘The Last Jedi,’ and ‘The Rise of Skywalker.’
The film Driver envisioned would’ve been set AFTER ‘The Rise of Skywalker,’ which, let’s be honest, should have been called ‘The Rise of Plot Holes.’ Apparently, he wanted to resurrect Ben Solo after his oh-so-dramatic sacrifice to save Rey. Because, you know, death is just a minor inconvenience in Star Wars. 👻
Get this, he even wanted Steven Soderbergh to direct! Can you imagine? Soderbergh, master of cool crime flicks, directing a Star Wars film about Kylo Ren coming back from the dead? It’s so crazy it just might work… or be another train wreck. They even outlined a story with Rebecca Blunt and got Scott Z. Burns to write a script. Driver called it “one of the coolest (expletive) scripts I had ever been a part of.” Soderbergh even confirmed the movie’s existence, saying, “I really enjoyed making the movie in my head. I’m just sorry the fans won’t get to see it.” Translation: “It was a hot mess, and I’m glad I dodged that thermal detonator.”💣
So, why was this gift to humanity rejected? Apparently, Lucasfilm “loved the idea” (sure, Jan). But then Bob Iger and Alan Bergman stepped in and said NOPE. They couldn’t figure out how Ben Solo could possibly be alive. Probably because he’s, you know, DEAD. And Disney ain’t about to greenlight any bizarre resurrections that mess with their already shaky canon. 💫
Disney and Lucasfilm declined to comment (as if they’d admit to this madness). Apparently, the project was going to be called ‘The Hunt for Ben Solo.’ Sounds less like Star Wars and more like a really weird episode of ‘Scooby-Doo.’ Where are you, Ben Solo? Ruh-roh! 🐕
On one hand, it’s shocking Disney would turn down anything Star Wars-related. But then again, ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ exists. Need I say more? A movie that makes Jar Jar Binks look like a cinematic masterpiece. 🎬 So, while it’s sad Adam Driver’s dream died, maybe it’s for the best. Some things are better left dead. Like my hopes for a decent Star Wars movie ever again. 💀
Disney is desperately trying to revive the Star Wars franchise with new characters. ‘The Mandalorian’ movie is coming to theaters next year. And Shawn Levy is shooting a film called ‘Star Wars: Starfighter’ starring Ryan Gosling (???). They’re also supposedly developing a film about Daisy Ridley’s Rey. But after this Ben Solo fiasco, that sounds about as likely as me winning the lottery. 💸
The next Star Wars movie, ‘The Mandalorian and Grogu,’ is scheduled to open on May 22, 2026. So, get ready for more Baby Yoda memes and questionable plot decisions. 🐸
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
