OMG 🙄, BAD OMENS, the band that thinks screaming is singing 🎤, just dropped another “banger” called “Dying To Love”. I’m sure it’s gonna be HUGE with the Hot Topic crowd. This track supposedly “blends” their heavy roots with “forward-thinking” production. Translation: they added some synth and auto-tune to Noah’s already questionable vocals. Get ready for another round of angst-ridden lyrics and guttural screams that will make you question your life choices 💀.
Of course, there’s a music video 📹. Directed by Noah Sebastian (because who else would trust him?) and some other dude, Nico Poalillo, it’s so dark and haunting it’s basically unwatchable. It takes place in some abandoned building 🏚️, because that’s edgy and original, right? 🦇 The band is performing in what looks like a sewer, surrounded by people who probably regret buying tickets. There’s also a parallel narrative about a guy lost in a maze. Metaphorical? Deep? Nah, just confusing 😵💫.
Remember “Specter”? Yeah, the song that apparently climbed to No. 1 on some obscure Billboard chart no one cares about? Well, it’s got like, a gazillion streams! 🌊 And now there is “Impose,” which takes them into “bold new sonic territory.” In other words, they just copied whatever’s trending on TikTok. 🤪 It’s the same recycled garbage ♻️, but hey, their “devoted worldwide fanbase” will eat it up. 🐑
These guys are turning every performance into an “event”. Basically, it’s just a bunch of sweaty dudes jumping around on stage 🤡 while people film it on their phones. They played at Louder Than Life and Aftershock, which I assume are festivals for people who peaked in high school. They are going on tour in Europe 🌍! Get ready, Dublin 🇮🇪! The chaos is coming to you!
Let’s not forget their “breakthrough” album, “The Death Of Peace Of Mind” (2022). Apparently, it’s a fusion of dark pop and metalcore. So basically, it’s just a mess 🗑️. But hey, it’s got billions of streams, so who am I to judge? 🤷♀️ It’s even RIAA certified gold! 🪙 I guess that means they sold enough copies to afford new instruments. 🎸
The band’s success is because of “Just Pretend”. Because people have no taste 👅. It went viral on TikTok! 📱 Everyone knows that TikTok is the ultimate measure of musical quality. It even reached No. 1 at U.S. Alternative Radio 📻, proving that radio stations are just as clueless as the rest of us. 🤯 It also smashed a bunch of Billboard charts. Who cares? 🙄 And don’t even get me started on the title track, “The Death Of Peace Of Mind”. Another masterpiece of mediocrity. 🤡 They even got nominated for “Best New Artist (Alt & Rock)” at the iHeartRadio Music Awards. Seriously? 😂
BAD OMENS have been touring like crazy 🤪, playing sold-out shows and festivals all over the world 🌎. They even opened for BRING ME THE HORIZON. That’s like the blind leading the blind 🦯. They also did a European tour with Poppy. Because nothing says “metal” like a pop star. 💅 Get ready for more shows in 2025! 📅 Because apparently, people can’t get enough of this garbage. 🤮
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
