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Tag: engagement

The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

The Feds Are Investigating Campus Safety After a Mass Shooting Because Apparently That’s the Time to Figure Out Guns Are Bad

Big ElephantDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Woke Ivy League Meltdown: Brown University’s Security is as Soft as Their Marxist Curriculum After Latest Campus Massacre In a…

Most Anticipated Games of 2026 (Hopefully They Won’t Release Them in 2027)
Breaking, Games News

Most Anticipated Games of 2026 (Hopefully They Won’t Release Them in 2027)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

The gaming industry is still breathing, folks! Shocking, right? After a year where we collectively lost our minds over sequels…

The 10 Most Underrated Movies of 2025 (Because Apparently No One Has Taste)
Breaking, Movie News

The 10 Most Underrated Movies of 2025 (Because Apparently No One Has Taste)

FinnDecember 18, 2025December 18, 2025

Based on the complete and utter financial train wreck that was this year’s box office, there are only two possible…

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube
Breaking, Movie News

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow-motion train wreck that is…

Trump Announces Jr.’s Engagement at White House Holiday Party Because Nothing Says Festive Like a Family Reality Show
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Announces Jr.’s Engagement at White House Holiday Party Because Nothing Says Festive Like a Family Reality Show

Big ElephantDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Trump Jr.’s Engagement to Bettina Anderson Sparks White House Festivities and Tabloid Frenzy President Donald Trump recently announced the engagement…

NASA Opens Doors for Space Business Amidst Alien Lease Disputes
Live

NASA Opens Doors for Space Business Amidst Alien Lease Disputes

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 13, 2025

**NASA and SBA are teaming up for a virtual town hall that promises to be as thrilling as watching paint…

Prepare to say ‘I do’ to crippling debt: How tariffs are about to obliterate your wedding budget
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prepare to say ‘I do’ to crippling debt: How tariffs are about to obliterate your wedding budget

Big ElephantNovember 9, 2025November 9, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems even weddings aren’t safe from the clutches of globalist tariffs, according to CNN, which is…

SADUS Vomits Forth New “Music Video” for “Pain” (As If Anyone Asked)
Breaking, Music News

SADUS Vomits Forth New “Music Video” for “Pain” (As If Anyone Asked)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

OMG! 😱 Thrash metal dinosaurs SADUS, yes, those guys from the Stone Age, have dropped a music video for their…

Riftbound: Yet ANOTHER Card Game Attempts to Steal Your Money Today
Breaking, Games News

Riftbound: Yet ANOTHER Card Game Attempts to Steal Your Money Today

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round because Riot Games, bless their hearts 🙄, decided to yank us all back to the Stone…

SF Opera Unleashes Double Dose of Monkey Business
Live

SF Opera Unleashes Double Dose of Monkey Business

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 31, 2025

**OMG! 🐒 SF Opera’s Engagement Dept is screening Monkey King at the Great Star Theater in Chinatown! FREE! 🎬 From…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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