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Tag: Exclusive

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE CREAM, CELLPHONES, AND FAT CATS: NEWS SO IMPORTANT, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Folks, another day, another socialist scare from CNN! They’re trying to distract you from President Trump’s incredible leadership, but we…

SEVENDUST Announces Fall 2025 U.S. Acoustic Tour (So You Can Finally Hear What They’re Mumbling)
Events, Music News

SEVENDUST Announces Fall 2025 U.S. Acoustic Tour (So You Can Finally Hear What They’re Mumbling)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sevendust is apparently still a thing and celebrating the 21st anniversary of their *cough* “beloved” acoustic album “Southside…

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)
Breaking, Music News

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Behold, feeble humans! Your 👽alien overlords in GWAR, those pioneers of making music that sounds like a garbage truck falling…

Atari and Bandai Namco Team Up to Milking Pac-Man’s Ghostly Corpse for Cash Grab Console and DLC
Breaking, Games News

Atari and Bandai Namco Team Up to Milking Pac-Man’s Ghostly Corpse for Cash Grab Console and DLC

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

**Waka waka waka 🤪! Prepare your wallets, fellow gamers, because Atari and Bandai Namco are BACK, baby, to milk the…

OBITUARY Might Drop a New Album in the Distant Future, Says Dude Who Knows Things
Breaking, Music News

OBITUARY Might Drop a New Album in the Distant Future, Says Dude Who Knows Things

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

In an EXCLUSIVE interview with RichardMetalFan94 (because, let’s be honest, who ELSE would care? 🤷‍♂️), OBITUARY bassist Terry Butler hinted…

3 Weeb Conventions Near Tokyo That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices
Events, Games News

3 Weeb Conventions Near Tokyo That Will Make You Question Your Life Choices

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

So, you’re planning a trip to Tokyo? 🗼 Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🤣 Forget the temples…

OMG! FromSoftware’s Cooking Up Another Multiplatform Mystery Meat, Prepare for Elden Ring 2.0: Now With 100% More Rolling
Breaking, Games News

OMG! FromSoftware’s Cooking Up Another Multiplatform Mystery Meat, Prepare for Elden Ring 2.0: Now With 100% More Rolling

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 FromSoftware, those sneaky geniuses, are apparently cooking up ANOTHER game! 🤫 Like, seriously, haven’t they heard of taking…

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST
Events, Music News

DEMON HUNTER Announces Fall 2025 U.S Tour: Prepare for a Descent into Mediocrity With WAR OF AGES, CONVICTIONS, and CULTIST

Chord F. DiscordJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

DEMON HUNTER, those paragons of… something, are bravely embarking on a U.S. tour this late summer/early fall. Prepare yourselves (or…

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Wow, look at this “exclusive” interview 🙄 with the guy who got the boot from SLIPKNOT, now slumming it in…

FILTER Dumps ‘All The Good’ Single From Upcoming ‘The Algorithm: Ultra Yawn’
Breaking, Music News

FILTER Dumps ‘All The Good’ Single From Upcoming ‘The Algorithm: Ultra Yawn’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

🤣OMG! Platinum-selling, (allegedly) post-industrial/alternative rock pioneers FILTER (who?) are gracing us with their remixed and remastered NEW album, “The Algorithm:…

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Latest posts

  • MLB Rebrands To MLBTQ+
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  • Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
  • Clive Barker’s Hellraiser: Revival Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Nightmares Already Now It’s Bloody Fantastic Get Ready to Wet Your Pants Again
  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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