OMG! 🚨GUNS N’ ROSES🚨 just dropped two new singles! 🙄 Because, you know, we were all *dying* for more Axl Rose in 2025. “Nothin'” and “Atlas” – because subtlety is *totally* their thing. 🙄 It’s like they’re trying to prove they can still rock… or something. Available on Interscope Records, if you’re into that sort of thing. 🤷♀️
So, yeah, GUNS N’ ROSES have been sporadically releasing new “material” while simultaneously fleecing fans on their “sold-out” tours. 🤑 Following 2023’s “The General” (who even remembers that? 💀) and “Perhaps” (more like “Probably Not”), “Atlas” and “Nothin'” are here to pad out those setlists filled with the same old hits. 😴 On December 12, you can pre-order “Nothin'” and “Atlas” on seven-inch vinyl, a store-exclusive cassette (who even owns a cassette player? 🤣), and a Japan-exclusive SHM-CD (because Japan is the only place where CDs still matter, apparently 💿).
In a super important interview with Guitar World (is that magazine still around? 🤔), Slash hinted at a new album. He said it’s all about “discipline” and “inspiration.” Translation: they have no idea what they’re doing and are just waiting for Axl to feel like it. 🤡 “It’ll just happen when it happens,” he said. Yeah, just like their punctuality. ⌚
A year ago, Duff McKagan confirmed to SiriusXM‘s “Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk” that they’ve been working on stuff. “There’s definitely a desire and a plan for new music,” he said. “Yeah, for sure.” Groundbreaking stuff, Duff. 🤯
Remember that “Hard Skool” EP from February 2022? Yeah, the one that was only available on their official store? It had “Absurd” (stylized as “ABSUЯD” because they’re SO edgy 🔪), live versions of “Don’t Cry” and “You’re Crazy”. More like “Don’t Bother” and “You’re Washed Up”. 🗑️
They haven’t released a full album since 2008’s “Chinese Democracy,” which was basically an Axl Rose solo project. 🎤 Now that McKagan and Slash are back, they’ve given us a bunch of singles like “Absurd,” “Hard Skool,” “Perhaps,” and “The General”. Still no album. Don’t hold your breath. 💨
In June 2024, Duff was asked if they’ll ever release *new* music. He said, “Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. There’s new material. I don’t know how we’re gona put it out. I think that’s a question too. Like, do you put out a record? Do you just keep putting out singles? I don’t know what the right answer is there in this day and age.” Translation: they’re clueless. 🤷
If and when this album happens, it’ll be the first with Slash, Rose, and McKagan since 1993. In other words, don’t expect it before 2050. 👵👴
“Hard Skool” was originally called “Jackie Chan” and was supposed to be on “Chinese Democracy.” Thank god it wasn’t. 🙏
“Absurd” came out three days after they played it live for the first time. How spontaneous! 🎉
They haven’t played “Silkworms” since 2001. Wonder why. 🤔
“The General” was the B-side of “Perhaps.” How generous of them. 🙄
Like “Perhaps,” “Hard Skool,” and “Absurd,” “The General” was written during the “Chinese Democracy” sessions. So basically, they’re just recycling old garbage. ♻️
GUNS N’ ROSES will tour again in 2026. Get ready to pay exorbitant prices to see Axl Rose struggle to hit the high notes! 🎤💀 They’re playing the Rose Bowl for the first time in 30 years. Maybe they’ll actually be on time this time? (Don’t count on it. 😉)
The tour announcement came after they released a deluxe “Live Era ’87-’93” boxset. A reminder of when they were actually good. 👴
This tour will feature stops in Mexico, Brazil, Europe, the U.S., and Canada. Because they need the money. 💰
Their previous tour was the “fourth-highest grossing concert tour of all time.” They’re laughing all the way to the bank. 🏦
GUNS N’ ROSES are Axl Rose, Duff McKagan, Slash, Dizzy Reed, Richard Fortus, Isaac Carpenter, and Melissa Reese. A whole lotta people for a band that should probably just call it quits. ✌️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
