OMG! 😱 James Cameron, the guy who brought us underwater CGI blue people and sinking ships, has apparently sworn a “blood oath” to resurrect the big-eyed cyborg Alita for another cinematic masterpiece… or catastrophe, depending on your tolerance for questionable CGI. 🤖
It’s been a whopping six years since 2019’s Alita: Battle Angel graced (or cursed) our screens, but the producer, in his infinite wisdom, hasn’t abandoned the dream of milking this cyberpunk cash cow dry. Moo! 🐄
In an “exclusive” interview with Empire Magazine (because, let’s face it, who ELSE would be clamoring for this?), Cameron spills the beans that he’s planning “at least one more” movie about the Battle Angel, alongside his partner in crime, Robert Rodriguez. Prepare for more shaky cam and gratuitous violence! 🔪
“I appreciate the loyalty of the Alita fans.” says Cameron, probably while counting his Avatar money. “Robert Rodriguez and I have sworn a blood oath to do at least one more Alita movie.” A blood oath? Seriously? Did they sacrifice a CGI kitten or something? 🐱
But hold your horses, folks! If the sequel miraculously doesn’t bomb, we might even get a THIRD film! 🤯 Cameron teases, “In fact, we’re thinking of an architecture that bridges to a third film, but we’ll be satisfied if we can make one more. And we’re making progress on that. Now that I have a home in Austin, Texas, about three miles from [Robert’s] place, I think we’ll probably get more serious about that as soon as I wrap the mix here in a few weeks.” Translation: “I’m bored, Rodriguez is bored, let’s squeeze some more money out of this thing.” 💰
Of course, nothing is set in stone yet, but it sounds promising for those die-hard Alita fans (do they actually exist?), especially since Rodriguez is also “vocally” back on board. Translation: No one else wants to work with us on this. 🤷
Rodriguez, in a moment of delusion, claimed on the Joe Rogan Podcast that the main set from the first film is STILL STANDING in his studio. “Yeah, we want to do another one for sure. You gotta come to my studio. That whole city is still in my parking lot. 20-foot ceilings, seven streets. It’s like the largest standing set in the country, if not the world,” he rambled. Honey, maybe it’s time to tear it down and build a parking lot for something people care about. Like a taco stand. 🌮
In 2023, co-producer Jon Landau, probably the only guy still employed from the first movie, revealed that a sequel was in “active development” with Rosa Salazar (aka, Big Eyes) set to return. Because who else would they get? 🤣
Released in 2019, Alita: Battle Angel is about a cyborg with amnesia who has to figure out her past in a post-apocalyptic Earth. Sounds original, right? 🤔
The film, starring Salazar, Christoph Waltz, Jennifer Connelly, and Mahershala Ali (who probably regret their involvement), received “mixed reviews.” Translation: Some people were paid to say nice things. It grossed $405 million worldwide against a $200 million budget. So, yeah, they’re gonna keep beating this dead horse. 🐴
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
