OMG! 😱 Prepare yourselves, metalheads, for the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news of the century! Century Media Records is proud to announce the English translation of the unauthorized, yet somehow official, biography of Finland’s premier purveyors of sonic sadness, SWALLOW THE SUN! Pre-order your copy NOW at www.swallowthesunbook.com, because who wouldn’t want to read about a band that makes even Mondays feel like a party? 🎉
This totally legit and official book 📖, where the oh-so-tortured souls of SWALLOW THE SUN spill their guts, was meticulously crafted by the literary genius 🧠 Matt Riekki (translation by Salla Harjula – because Finnish is, like, REALLY hard). It’s based on interviews with everyone who ever dared to contribute to the band’s unique brand of “music” 🎶 over the past quarter of a century. Get ready for shocking revelations about band infighting 🥊, struggles with the oh-so-evil music industry 😈, and the immense pain they endured to reach the dizzying heights of… the melodic doom metal scene? ⛰️ (Is that even a thing?) This translation includes bonus content, covering the last two years of… existing. Ultimately, it’s a heart-warming tale 🥰 of friendship and a will to power so strong, it could probably open a jar of pickles. 🥒
Choose from two exclusive editions: the “Classic” (for the peasants 👑) and the “Signature” (signed by the band – as if that adds any value 🤣). Both contain the SAME gripping story. But wait, there’s more! If you pre-order now, you get the chance to have your name printed in the book! Fame! Fortune! Eternal glory! Or, you know, just your name in a book about a doom metal band. 🤔
Riekki, the mastermind behind this literary masterpiece ✍️, is the editor-in-chief of Soundi, Finland’s #1 rock magazine. He’s basically the Stephen King of Finnish heavy metal journalism 📰. Previously, he hosted the legendary radio show “Metalliliitto” and edited Inferno magazine. He’s also the author of “North From Here: The Sentenced Story” (Svart, 2021), because one Finnish metal biography is clearly not enough. 🙄
In other news, SWALLOW THE SUN dropped their latest album, “Shining”, in October 2024 via Century Media Records. It was produced and mixed by Dan Lancaster (who apparently had nothing better to do than work with a doom metal band), mastered by Tony Lindgren (because even depressing music needs mastering), and recorded by Juho Räihä, except for the vocals, which were recorded by Dan Lancaster (again!). 🎤
Two decades of despair 😭, beauty 🌹, and heartache💔 have somehow turned SWALLOW THE SUN into Finnish melancholy torchbearers 🕯️. They’ve even been nominated for the Emma Gaala (Finnish Grammy) TWICE! 🎉 (Don’t get too excited, they didn’t win).🏆
Formed in Jyväskylä in 2000, this quintet has a bunch of fan-made music videos (over 10 million YouTube views – mostly people accidentally clicking while searching for cat videos 🐱) and impressive streaming numbers (over 50 million Spotify plays – probably just the same 100 people listening on repeat 🔁). They’ve also played 900 shows across four continents! 🌍 Talk about overachievers. 🥇
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
