Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Exclusive

BLACK SABBATH Recreated In LEGO Bricks Because Their Music Wasn’t Repetitive Enough
Breaking, Music News

BLACK SABBATH Recreated In LEGO Bricks Because Their Music Wasn’t Repetitive Enough

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Hold onto your dentures, metalheads! 🤘 The geriatric titans of heavy metal, BLACK SABBATH, have officially sold their souls to…

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab
Breaking, Music News

Oasis Milks (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? for 30th Anniversary Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Oasis, those purveyors of slightly-above-average Britpop, have announced details of deluxe formats of (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? to celebrate the album…

Anime Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment—Netflix, MAPPA, and the Usual Suspects ATLUS/SEGA
Breaking, Games News

Anime Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment—Netflix, MAPPA, and the Usual Suspects ATLUS/SEGA

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! 🎉 The SPJA (whoever THEY are) finally dropped the Anime Expo 2025 schedule! Prepare…

Leaderboards: Cuz Gamers Need More Reasons to Rage Quit
Breaking, Games News

Leaderboards: Cuz Gamers Need More Reasons to Rage Quit

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Leaderboards? Oh honey, those relics from the 80s👾? Still clinging to life like a desperate gamer to their Doritos-dusted keyboard.…

It’s Hot, Dinosaurs are Tiny, and Jack’s Still a Tourist Trap: News for People Who Can’t Read
Elephant Reads CNN

It’s Hot, Dinosaurs are Tiny, and Jack’s Still a Tourist Trap: News for People Who Can’t Read

Big ElephantJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Ah, CNN, still peddling their liberal garbage, I see. Let’s dissect today’s dose of leftist propaganda, shall we? It’s always…

VALORANT’s New Map Corrode: Prepare for Tactical Geniuses (or Just More People Yelling at You)
Breaking

VALORANT’s New Map Corrode: Prepare for Tactical Geniuses (or Just More People Yelling at You)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, great, another map. 🙄 As if we needed more places to get headshot by 12-year-olds who somehow have the…

The Offspring inflict four whole songs on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’ viewers
Breaking, Music News

The Offspring inflict four whole songs on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’ viewers

Chord F. DiscordJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

THE OFFSPRING, those purveyors of mid-life crisis anthems, graced the stage of ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” last night (Tuesday, June…

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Music lifestyle brand Pluginz, because apparently, music needs a lifestyle now 🙄, is cranking the lameness up to eleven with…

Duff McKagan Claims Ozzy Osbourne Stalked Him Since Childhood
Breaking, Music News

Duff McKagan Claims Ozzy Osbourne Stalked Him Since Childhood

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

GUNS N’ ROSES (the band that still exists, somehow) bassist Duff McKagan (who?) has graced us with a 19-minute (!!!)…

Nintendo Direct to bless us with more Donkey Kong than we asked for
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Direct to bless us with more Donkey Kong than we asked for

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful bananas! 🍌 Nintendo, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just a desperate attempt to sell more Switch…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 30 31 32 Next

Latest posts

  • Pentagon Seeks Innovative Ways to Annoy Iran
  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.