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Tag: Family

Behemoth’s Nergal Absolutely Goes Full Santa Mode, Claims Christmas Is Just About Presents and Zero Holy Stuff
Breaking, Music News

Behemoth’s Nergal Absolutely Goes Full Santa Mode, Claims Christmas Is Just About Presents and Zero Holy Stuff

Chord F. DiscordDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Breaking: Satanist Nergal Celebrates Christmas Like a Normal Person, Immediately Regrets It on Podcast ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ˜ˆ In a shocking turn of…

COHEED AND CAMBRIA Drops Festive Propaganda Cartoon Because Nothing Says Christmas Like a Political Agenda
Breaking, Music News

COHEED AND CAMBRIA Drops Festive Propaganda Cartoon Because Nothing Says Christmas Like a Political Agenda

Chord F. DiscordDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

Breaking News: Coheed and Cambria Drop Festive Banger About ICE Kidnapping Children for Christmas โ€” Because Nothing Says โ€˜Holiday Cheerโ€™…

Tampa Bay’s biggest toy convention proves adults are just kids with better credit scores
Live

Tampa Bay’s biggest toy convention proves adults are just kids with better credit scores

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 20, 2025

๐ŸŽ‰ Welcome to **TAMPA BAY TOY FEST**! ๐ŸŽ„ A jolly gathering where the holiday spirit meets a parking lot in…

LA’s Afrobeats New Year’s Eve Bash: Where the Dance Moves Are as Official as Your Tax Forms
Live

LA’s Afrobeats New Year’s Eve Bash: Where the Dance Moves Are as Official as Your Tax Forms

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 20, 2025

๐Ÿšจ ATTENTION HUMANS: AFRICAN DANCE MUSIC WILL INVINCIBLY DESCEND UPON LA LIKE A COOL AUNT AT A FAMILY REUNION ๐Ÿšจ…

The Holiday Edit: A Houston Marketโ€™s Desperate Attempt to Sell You Stuff You Donโ€™t Need
Live

The Holiday Edit: A Houston Marketโ€™s Desperate Attempt to Sell You Stuff You Donโ€™t Need

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 20, 2025

๐Ÿšจ ATTENTION HOUSTON SHOPPING ZOMBIES: The Holiday Edit Market is Back to Save You from Another Soul-Crushing Mall Trip! ๐Ÿšจ…

MAX CAVALERA Can’t Handle Lyric Writing: ‘It’s Like Doing Taxes for the Devil’
Breaking, Music News

MAX CAVALERA Can’t Handle Lyric Writing: ‘It’s Like Doing Taxes for the Devil’

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Max Cavalera Finally Admits What We All Suspected: Lyrics Are Just Glorified Homework (And Heโ€™s Definitely Not Getting an A+)…

Ring in 2025 at Texan Taco Barโ€™s West Loop Fiesta โ€“ Where the Tacos Are Spicy and the Crowds Are Even Spicier
Live

Ring in 2025 at Texan Taco Barโ€™s West Loop Fiesta โ€“ Where the Tacos Are Spicy and the Crowds Are Even Spicier

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 19, 2025

Attention party animals, drama kings, and those who definitely need a designated driver: The 2025 New Year’s Eve bash at…

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Breaking, Music News

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…

The Best Christmas Movies for People Who Hate Christmas Movies
Breaking, Movie News

The Best Christmas Movies for People Who Hate Christmas Movies

FinnDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

๐Ÿšจ BREAKING: A HOLIDAY MOVIE LIST FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE A SOUL (OR AT LEAST A SENSE OF HUMOR)…

Kennedy Center Officially Renamed to Trumpโ€™s Ego Palace of Performing Arts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kennedy Center Officially Renamed to Trumpโ€™s Ego Palace of Performing Arts

Big ElephantDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Trump Finally Fixes Another Liberal Disaster: Kennedy Center Gets a Much-Needed Dose of MAGA Greatness In a stunning move that…

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