Hold onto your tinfoil hats, folks, because Remedy Entertainment just dropped a sequel so mind-bending that it might actually cause the reality-warping event it’s trying to stop. That’s right, it’s time for Control Resonant, the game where the only thing more confusing than the plot is the fact that people still willingly download Remedy’s games without a physical copy as a backup. 🤯
So, what’s the plot this time? Well, grab a notepad and a therapist because it’s a doozy. We’ve got Dylan Faden, who spent years locked in a basement by the Federal Bureau of Control (FBC), which is basically the government’s way of saying “we found another weirdo who can bend spoons with his mind.” Suddenly, these same people who were keeping him in a rubber room are now like, “Hey Dylan, buddy, you’re our only hope! Go save reality!” Classic government logic. One minute you’re the dangerous experiment, the next you’re the chosen one with a cosmic punch card. 💼✨
And what is Dylan supposed to fight? Oh, just a “mysterious cosmic entity” that’s casually rewriting the laws of physics like it’s editing a bad Wikipedia page. Gravity is optional, reality is a suggestion, and Manhattan looks like it got stuck in a cosmic washing machine set to “spin cycle of doom.” Sounds like a Tuesday for anyone who’s ever taken public transit in the city, but now with more eldritch horror! 🚇🌀
But wait, there’s more! Because Dylan isn’t just fighting for humanity’s survival, oh no. He’s also on a heartfelt family reunion tour, trying to find his sister Jesse Faden, the FBC Director. So it’s not just an apocalypse; it’s a dysfunctional family drama with extra explosions. You can almost hear the cosmic entity sighing, “Not this again. Can’t you Fadens save the world *and* work out your issues in therapy like normal people?”
The game promises “expansive, reality-warping playgrounds of choice, power, and consequence.” Which is a fancy way of saying “the map is bigger and the puzzles will make you question your sanity.” You get to master Dylan’s new powers, which apparently include bending reality, unleashing elemental fury, and wielding the Aberrant, his “shapeshifting melee weapon.” Because in a world where physics is broken, why use a gun when you can punch people with a sword that looks like it was designed by a kaleidoscope on acid? ⚔️🌈
And the best part? Remedy swears up and down that you don’t need to play the first game to understand this one. “We’ve made this one easy to pick up and hard to put down!” they chirp. Famous last words. Just like they promised the first game would make sense by the end. Just like they promised Alan Wake’s story would be wrapped up in a neat little bow. 🤭
But hey, who are we to judge? If you want to spend your 2026 traipsing through a metaphysical nightmare while a cosmic entity rewrites reality and a troubled protagonist tries to find his sister while also saving the world, then by all means. The trailer looks gorgeous, the powers look stupidly cool, and the whole thing is gloriously, wonderfully bonkers. Just remember to take breaks, stay hydrated, and maybe don’t play it right before your existential crisis support group. 🎮💥
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
