Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Five

Because We Needed Another Star Wars Thing Already
Breaking, Games News

Because We Needed Another Star Wars Thing Already

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

Oh joy, another Star Wars game, because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet. I mean, who doesn’t love…

Iran Loses Guy In Charge Forever Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Loses Guy In Charge Forever Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the weeklong funeral for Iran’s former Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and…

Madonna’s alleged final Confessions redux because you clearly didnt buy it the first time
Breaking, Music News

Madonna’s alleged final Confessions redux because you clearly didnt buy it the first time

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

Madonna is back, and I’m not surprised. Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion. The Queen of Pop has returned…

Steam Machine Users Delighted by New Red glow of Impending Doom
Breaking, Games News

Steam Machine Users Delighted by New Red glow of Impending Doom

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 3, 2026July 3, 2026

Oh joy, another hardware launch, another chance for our favorite companies to disappoint us with subpar quality control. The Steam…

ICE is coming for your coworkers now apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE is coming for your coworkers now apparently

Big ElephantJuly 2, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Trump administration’s plans to increase worksite immigration enforcement operations, and I have…

CNN thinks I care about moon bases and coffee perks really
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN thinks I care about moon bases and coffee perks really

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The World Cup is in full swing, and Team USA…

Seattle’s Brilliant Fix: Free Gov Houses For All
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Seattle’s Brilliant Fix: Free Gov Houses For All

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I stumbled upon a story that made me raise an…

Netflix Gets Ripped Off Again But This Time It’s Actually Illegal
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Gets Ripped Off Again But This Time It’s Actually Illegal

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

A filmmaker has been sentenced to 30 months in prison for allegedly misusing $11 million in funds provided by Netflix…

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks
Breaking, Games News

Because What Games Need Are Overpriced Brand Branded Power Banks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, HoYoverse and UGREEN are teaming up to bring us a limited-edition…

Biggie’s got Fed problems now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Biggie’s got Fed problems now

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – it seems President Trump has suffered a major setback in…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 23 24 25 26 Next

Latest posts

  • Hannity and EarhardtParty with Trump PreWedding
  • Atlanta ICE building gets free fire renovation courtesy of local resident
  • Justice Served With Extra Helping of Tragedy
  • Queensryche Still Exists And People Are For Some Reason Excited
  • Tony Iommi still trying to fix Born Again 40 years later

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.