Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Fixed

Saros gets belated accessibility and New Game+ because you complained loudly enough
Breaking, Games News

Saros gets belated accessibility and New Game+ because you complained loudly enough

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 19, 2026October 19, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, a game update has been released that doesn’t cost an extra $20 or require…

Mortgage rates skyrocket to 7.28% because who needs savings anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mortgage rates skyrocket to 7.28% because who needs savings anyway

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about mortgage rates, folks, and let me tell you, it’s been a wild ride.…

Blanche Deems One-Sided Reporting A Threat To National Security Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Blanche Deems One-Sided Reporting A Threat To National Security Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the Trump administration and the media, and folks, I…

Bond Market Having Total Meltdown Because Oil
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bond Market Having Total Meltdown Because Oil

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the bond market, and folks, it’s been a wild ride. Bond yields are…

Gaming Servers Magically Dont Explode Under Sudden Massive Player Influxes
Breaking, Games News

Gaming Servers Magically Dont Explode Under Sudden Massive Player Influxes

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 23, 2026September 23, 2026

As a seasoned gamer, I’ve seen my fair share of launch day disasters and server crashes. But have you ever…

Oasis embarks on yet another triumphant farewell-ish tour extravaganza
Breaking, Music News

Oasis embarks on yet another triumphant farewell-ish tour extravaganza

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 14, 2026September 14, 2026

Because apparently retirement is just a suggestion, Oasis is back with their Live ’27 tour, because who needs a break…

Yay, 5% Treasury Yield, Just What the Economy Needed Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Yay, 5% Treasury Yield, Just What the Economy Needed Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 14, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The 10-year Treasury yield has risen to 5%, a level not…

LIVE NATION heroically cancels AC/DC concert to protect Toronto from possibly getting rocked too hard
Breaking, Music News

LIVE NATION heroically cancels AC/DC concert to protect Toronto from possibly getting rocked too hard

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2026September 10, 2026

I mean, it’s not like we’ve never seen a storm before, but apparently, the one that hit Toronto last week…

Fed to Bond Market: Chill, We Got This Maybe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fed to Bond Market: Chill, We Got This Maybe

Big ElephantSeptember 8, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Investors are getting all worked up about government deficits and inflation,…

Mortgage Relief Somehow Still Not A Thing For Some Homeowners
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mortgage Relief Somehow Still Not A Thing For Some Homeowners

Big ElephantSeptember 5, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading about Patrice De La Ossa, who sold her home in Phoenix to help…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 6 Next

Latest posts

  • Ryan Gosling’s Dead Man’s Bones Returns With New Music
  • Wo Long 2 brings musical theatre to ancient Chinese demon slaying chaos
  • Execution team frets about IV mishap during Christa Pike’s lethal injection
  • GOP Tries Sinking Sherrod Brown With Unlikely New BFFs
  • Finally Something To Make You Forget Existential Dread Monumental

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.