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Tag: Friends

Liberal US student goes missing in Japan, big whoop, whatever happens
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal US student goes missing in Japan, big whoop, whatever happens

Big ElephantJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Oh boy, are the fake news media and the swamp in Washington D.C. going to have a field day with…

Another Bush elitist posing as outsider folk hero wannabe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Another Bush elitist posing as outsider folk hero wannabe

Big ElephantJune 6, 2026June 6, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be living in the greatest…

TAYLOR MOMSEN Reveals The Shocking Truth About Why THE PRETTY RECKLESS Doesn’t Use Backing Tapes Or Click Tracks Live
Breaking, Music News

TAYLOR MOMSEN Reveals The Shocking Truth About Why THE PRETTY RECKLESS Doesn’t Use Backing Tapes Or Click Tracks Live

Chord F. DiscordJune 4, 2026June 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩 THE PRETTY RECKLESS frontwoman Taylor Momsen just spilled the…

Because You Clearly Haven’t Heard Enough of Purple Rain Yet Prince Estate Digs Up Some More Old Stuff to Sell You Timeless
Breaking News: Prince Estate Announces New Album, Because You Clearly Didn't Have Enough Prince in Your Life 🙄
Breaking, Music News

Because You Clearly Haven’t Heard Enough of Purple Rain Yet Prince Estate Digs Up Some More Old Stuff to Sell You Timeless

Chord F. DiscordJune 4, 2026June 4, 2026

The Prince Estate has just announced the release of Timeless, a new posthumous Prince album, in partnership with Legacy Recordings.…

WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People
Breaking, Music News

WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People

Chord F. DiscordJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

Breaking news: WARRANT’s “Cherry Pie” is back and better than ever, and we’re not just saying that because we’re stuck…

Oh Boy Get Ready for Another Soul Sucking Mobile Game Pokémon Champions Is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life on Android and iOS on June 17
Breaking, Games News

Oh Boy Get Ready for Another Soul Sucking Mobile Game Pokémon Champions Is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life on Android and iOS on June 17

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 3, 2026June 3, 2026

The Pokémon franchise is finally gracing us with its regal presence on our mobile devices, because who needs personal space…

ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE
Breaking, Music News

ACCEPT Drops Earth Shattering Masterpiece ‘Fast As A Shark’ Featuring Random Music Legends They Found In Their Attic PHILIP ANSELMO, KIRK HAMMETT, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKKEY DEE

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩🎸 German/American heavy metal legends ACCEPT are celebrating 50 years…

ICE detainees whine about free lodging at Delaney Hall apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ICE detainees whine about free lodging at Delaney Hall apparently

Big ElephantJune 2, 2026June 2, 2026

Oh, great, another bunch of fake news coming from the liberal mainstream media, trying to undermine the great work of…

Oh Joy Another Roguelike Because We Were All Just Sitting Around Twiddling Our Thumbs Waiting For Chivalware To Save The Genre
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy Another Roguelike Because We Were All Just Sitting Around Twiddling Our Thumbs Waiting For Chivalware To Save The Genre

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 1, 2026June 1, 2026

The roguelike genre has finally been saved by Chivalware, and I’m not being sarcastic at all 😂. I mean, who…

Events

Build a Quantum Computer and Finally Impress Your Nerd Friends with Something Cooler than a Fancy Graphics Card

Chuck B. BallsyJune 1, 2026

🤣💻 Computers are taking over: in phones, cars, toasters, even on the moon! 🌕💸 📺 Lecture recording available 🎉 Chuck…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UNLEASHES FENTANYL GATE EXPOSE, UNCOVERS 1M DEADLY PILLS UNLEASHED ON AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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