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Libs tremble at Trump’s mighty Indiana smackdown coming
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Libs tremble at Trump’s mighty Indiana smackdown coming

Big ElephantMay 14, 2026May 14, 2026

Wow, can you believe the utter nonsense that’s still being spewed about our great nation and its fearless leader, President…

Ahsoka Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Announce Season 2 After Making Us Wait Forever
Breaking, Movie News

Ahsoka Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Announce Season 2 After Making Us Wait Forever

FinnMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, the second season of Ahsoka is finally on its way to Disney+,…

OMG You Guys New Counter-Strike 2 Skins are Coming in May 2026 and They’re Probably Going to Break the Bank and Your Social Life
Breaking, Games News

OMG You Guys New Counter-Strike 2 Skins are Coming in May 2026 and They’re Probably Going to Break the Bank and Your Social Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 12, 2026May 12, 2026

The skin market for Counter-Strike 2 was on fire in May 2026, and I’m not just saying that because I’m…

Russia celebrates real victory, unlike fake America’s woke failures
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia celebrates real victory, unlike fake America’s woke failures

Big ElephantMay 10, 2026May 10, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat, folks. I’m about to dissect an article that’s just dripping with fake…

Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos
Breaking, Movie News

Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos

FinnMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Oh joy, summer is finally here, and you know what that means… it’s time to squeeze into a hot car…

Xbox Throws All the Adults Out of the Room and Now the Kids are in Charge and Also They Cancelled That One Thing You Didn’t Care About Anyway
Breaking News: Xbox CEO Asha Sharma is Shaking Things Up and We're Low-Key Excited 🤩
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Throws All the Adults Out of the Room and Now the Kids are in Charge and Also They Cancelled That One Thing You Didn’t Care About Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

Asha Sharma, the new CEO of Xbox, is only a few months into her role, but she’s already making waves…

Oh Great Another Old Guy Trying to Relive His Glory Days With a Documentary Called I Was A Teenage Sex Pistol Because Apparently Being a Teenage Sex Pistol Wasnt Enough
Breaking, Music News

Oh Great Another Old Guy Trying to Relive His Glory Days With a Documentary Called I Was A Teenage Sex Pistol Because Apparently Being a Teenage Sex Pistol Wasnt Enough

Chord F. DiscordMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Get ready to witness the most epic tale of punk rock history, as told by the one and only Glen…

Fortnite is Basically Going to Ruin Star Wars with a Cringeworthy Galaxy of Overhyped Content and a Darth Vader Game That Will Probably Give You Nightmares of His Breathing
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite is Basically Going to Ruin Star Wars with a Cringeworthy Galaxy of Overhyped Content and a Darth Vader Game That Will Probably Give You Nightmares of His Breathing

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 1, 2026May 1, 2026

Get ready for the most epic collaboration in gaming history: Fortnite is about to get a massive injection of Star…

Spineless Republicans surrender to Dems on border security again obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spineless Republicans surrender to Dems on border security again obviously

Big ElephantApril 30, 2026April 30, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s another day in the greatest country on earth, and our fearless leader, President Donald Trump,…

Events

PLUTO AND FRIENDS DESCEND UPON ATLANTA TO COLLECTLY EMBARRASS THEMSELVES IN PUBLIC FOR FREE

Chuck B. BallsyApril 30, 2026

🎉 SATURDAY PARTY IN ATLANTA 🎉 TEXT “LYFE” TO 404.386.1888 📱 DOORS OPEN 10PM 🕰️ 3 ROOMS TO PARTY 🏰…

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Latest posts

  • BREAKING ORANGE ORACLE SPEAKS TRUTH SOCIAL REVELATION DJT SAVES AMERICA
  • Oh Joy ‘The Invite’ is Basically Just a Bunch of Rich People Trying to Sell Each Other Stuff Over Canapés and Pretension
  • TIM ‘RIPPER’ OWENS Exposes Brutal Truth That Your Uncle’s Favorite Band Is Judas Priest
  • BREAKING: ORANGE ORACLE Declares Gas Price EMERGENCY
  • BREAKING Trump Posts On Truth Social WE ARE DOOMED

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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