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Liberal Hollywood elitist singer kills innocent American child obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Hollywood elitist singer kills innocent American child obviously

Big ElephantApril 17, 2026April 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some fake news? I just can’t even handle the liberal tears that are…

OMG SLAYER Fans Are Totally Not Going to Lose Their Minds Over This Insanely Overhyped 40th Anniversary Reissue of Hell Awaits That You Definitely Need to Buy Again
Breaking, Music News

OMG SLAYER Fans Are Totally Not Going to Lose Their Minds Over This Insanely Overhyped 40th Anniversary Reissue of Hell Awaits That You Definitely Need to Buy Again

Chord F. DiscordApril 16, 2026April 16, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤣 SLAYER’s iconic second studio album, “Hell Awaits”, is getting…

Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Games to Play Already GeForce NOW Is Blessing You with PRAGMATA and Three Other Things to Waste Your Life On This Week
Breaking, Games News

Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Games to Play Already GeForce NOW Is Blessing You with PRAGMATA and Three Other Things to Waste Your Life On This Week

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 16, 2026April 16, 2026

NVIDIA just went full rocket scientist and sent GeForce NOW to the moon 🚀, bringing not one, not two, but…

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy More Overhyped Movies to Waste Your Life On – April 14 2026 – Greenland is Still Melting The Substitute is Still Subpar and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time is Still Confused

FinnApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

It’s time to get excited, folks! 🎉👀 This week’s home video releases are a real treat, with a mix of…

Not our problem, let France fix their own Muslim mess
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Not our problem, let France fix their own Muslim mess

Big ElephantApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh, joy, it’s another day in the utterly fantastic, totally-not-disastrous presidency of Donald Trump, the greatest leader this world has…

ELOY CASAGRANDE Totally Nails SLIPKNOT Audition By Having No Clue What He’s Doing And Probably Playing The Macarena On Drums
Breaking News: Eloy Casagrande Reveals the Secrets of Joining Slipknot, and We're Still Trying to Figure Out How He Didn't Get Lost in the Masks 🤣
Breaking, Music News

ELOY CASAGRANDE Totally Nails SLIPKNOT Audition By Having No Clue What He’s Doing And Probably Playing The Macarena On Drums

Chord F. DiscordApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, former Sepultura drummer Eloy Casagrande has joined the infamous metal band Slipknot, and we’re…

Modern Games Are Clearly Not Designed to Ruin Your Social Life and Turn You Into a Zombie Who Forgets to Eat or Shower for Weeks on End
Breaking, Games News

Modern Games Are Clearly Not Designed to Ruin Your Social Life and Turn You Into a Zombie Who Forgets to Eat or Shower for Weeks on End

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 14, 2026April 14, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some juicy gossip about the gaming industry? 🤯 It turns out that modern games…

BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING: KEANU REEVES Finally Decides to Use His Matrix Money to Fund His Midlife Crisis Band DOGSTAR’s Latest Masterpiece ‘Joy’ Because Who Needs Acting When You Can Be a Rockstar

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Get ready to rock, folks! 🤟 Keanu Reeves’ super cool, totally awesome, and not-at-all-trying-too-hard band DOGSTAR is back with a…

Honkai Star Rail Turns The Big Three And Suddenly Thinks Its Too Old For Your Attention But Hey Free Stuff
Breaking, Games News

Honkai Star Rail Turns The Big Three And Suddenly Thinks Its Too Old For Your Attention But Hey Free Stuff

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Get ready for the most epic update ever in Honkai: Star Rail, because Version 4.2, also known as “So Laughed…

Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: David Lee Roth Randomly Shows Up at Coachella Because He Heard There Would Be Free Avocado Toast and Proceeds to Butcher VAN HALEN’s ‘Jump’ with Some Guy Named Teddy Swims

Chord F. DiscordApril 11, 2026April 11, 2026

Breaking news: the coachella festival just got a whole lot more interesting, and by interesting, I mean old 🤣. David…

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  • Oh Joy ‘The Invite’ is Basically Just a Bunch of Rich People Trying to Sell Each Other Stuff Over Canapés and Pretension
  • TIM ‘RIPPER’ OWENS Exposes Brutal Truth That Your Uncle’s Favorite Band Is Judas Priest
  • BREAKING: ORANGE ORACLE Declares Gas Price EMERGENCY

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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