Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Frozen

Diné Bi Sin: Dakota Mace Talks to Trees and the Land Actually Answers Back
Live

Diné Bi Sin: Dakota Mace Talks to Trees and the Land Actually Answers Back

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 25, 2025

Attention everyone! Dakota Mace is here to remind us that Indigenous identity isn’t frozen in a museum case like a…

Diving Headfirst Into The Gold River Project—Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chaos
Breaking, Games News

Diving Headfirst Into The Gold River Project—Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chaos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Another Survival Game Wants to Kill You (And It’s Probably Your Fault) 🚨 In a shocking turn…

Dead By Daylight Reveals How To Survive The 10th Anniversary Without Running Out Of Scream
Breaking, Games News

Dead By Daylight Reveals How To Survive The 10th Anniversary Without Running Out Of Scream

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

BREAKING: The Fog Hasn’t Lifted in a Decade—And Neither Has Your Luck in Dead by Daylight! 🎉🔪🕯️ Yes, you read…

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Breaking, Music News

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…

GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026
Live, Music News

GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The End Of Days Is Coming (Again), And It’s Touring North America With A Merch Table 🚨 In…

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…

Live

Sibling Sexual Behavior: When Twins Decide to Break the Gene Pool Record

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

**About this event** The CSA Centre proudly presents *“Sibling Secrets: When Your Brother is Your Biggest Fan (in the Wrong…

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
🚨 BREAKING: Disney Just Sold Its Soul to OpenAI for $1 Billion and a High-Five from Sam Altman 🙌💸
Breaking, Movie News

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…

“Diplomats Battle It Out in Frozen Hunger Games (Spoiler: Everyone Loses but the Free Food)”
Live

“Diplomats Battle It Out in Frozen Hunger Games (Spoiler: Everyone Loses but the Free Food)”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 8, 2025

Ready to “travel the world” without leaving DC? 🤯 The Winternational fiesta is back, where embassies compete to prove whose…

Northwestern U caves to Trump, coughs up $75M for thawed cash
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Northwestern U caves to Trump, coughs up $75M for thawed cash

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Another Woke University Caves to Trump! Northwestern Univesity had $790 million in federal funding frozen and now are forced to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 Next

Latest posts

  • Government Casually Brushes Against Your Rights Again Somehow
  • Democrats Engage in Thrilling Game of Circular Firing Squad in Michigan
  • Barbie Sequel In Limbo Due To Stalled Talent Talks
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Evers vows to resist FBI seizure of Milwaukee ballots
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Mexico Struggles With Endemic Problems

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}