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Tag: Frozen

75% of Americans Say Leave Greenland Alone Because Nobody Wants to Visit a Frozen Florida
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

75% of Americans Say Leave Greenland Alone Because Nobody Wants to Visit a Frozen Florida

Big ElephantJanuary 15, 2026January 15, 2026

CNN’s Newest Fake News Poll: Weak-Kneed Liberals Cower as President Trump Makes America GIANT Again! In a hilarious new “poll”…

PGCAC 2025 Football & Brunch Watch Party — Where the Snacks Are Hot and the Takes Are Hotter
Live

PGCAC 2025 Football & Brunch Watch Party — Where the Snacks Are Hot and the Takes Are Hotter

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

🏈🚨 ATTENTION, FROZEN WARRIORS OF UPPER MARLBORO! 🚨🏈 On Sunday, January 4, 2026, we’ll gather at Famous Lounge Restaurant (5010…

Diné Bi Sin: Dakota Mace Talks to Trees and the Land Actually Answers Back
Live

Diné Bi Sin: Dakota Mace Talks to Trees and the Land Actually Answers Back

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 25, 2025

Attention everyone! Dakota Mace is here to remind us that Indigenous identity isn’t frozen in a museum case like a…

Diving Headfirst Into The Gold River Project—Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chaos
Breaking, Games News

Diving Headfirst Into The Gold River Project—Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chaos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Another Survival Game Wants to Kill You (And It’s Probably Your Fault) 🚨 In a shocking turn…

Dead By Daylight Reveals How To Survive The 10th Anniversary Without Running Out Of Scream
Breaking, Games News

Dead By Daylight Reveals How To Survive The 10th Anniversary Without Running Out Of Scream

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 20, 2025December 20, 2025

BREAKING: The Fog Hasn’t Lifted in a Decade—And Neither Has Your Luck in Dead by Daylight! 🎉🔪🕯️ Yes, you read…

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Breaking, Music News

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…

GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026
Live, Music News

GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The End Of Days Is Coming (Again), And It’s Touring North America With A Merch Table 🚨 In…

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…

Live

Sibling Sexual Behavior: When Twins Decide to Break the Gene Pool Record

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 15, 2025

**About this event** The CSA Centre proudly presents *“Sibling Secrets: When Your Brother is Your Biggest Fan (in the Wrong…

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse
🚨 BREAKING: Disney Just Sold Its Soul to OpenAI for $1 Billion and a High-Five from Sam Altman 🙌💸
Breaking, Movie News

Disney and OpenAI Just Made A Deal To Make Sora Into The Next Mickey Mouse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

In a move that has sent shockwaves through the entertainment industry (and probably a few existential crises through the animatronic…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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