Glacier-chasing yachts for clueless tourists, pink ribbons for profit, and pointless step counting: Read our groundbreaking news
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! More like 5 Ways the Liberal Media is Trying to Brainwash You! They want…
Tag: Garbage
Bad Omens Drops New Emo Anthem ‘Dying To Love’ (Cringe Alert)
OMG 🙄, BAD OMENS, the band that thinks screaming is singing 🎤, just dropped another “banger” called “Dying To Love”.…
UN blames cutting welfare for making the right wing extra spicy, says CNN Business (lol)
Oh, the horror! The UN, that bastion of anti-Americanism and globalist garbage, is whining that cuts to social programs are…
Guardians of what now? Preserving Nigerian *Culture*? Oh, Honey, Bless Your Heart
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re pushing the narrative that some Nigerians are “preserving their nation’s heritage.”…
SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…
CNN accidentally promotes film that everyone should definitely ignore
Oh, here we go again with the usual leftist drivel! These “co-directors” are just puppets dancing to the tune of…
CNN Asks: Was Fela Kuti Just a Wannabe Bob Marley-Dylan-Ali Mashup
CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re pushing some Afrobeat musician named Fela Kuti as the next Bob Marley,…
Chris Fleming’s Lincoln Lodge Meltdown: Prepare for Absurdity
**OMG! Eventbrite is down! 😱 Is this the end of the world? How will anyone find garbage “events” now?** 🙄…
Oklahoma’s New School Overlord Declares War on the Bible, Proving He’s Totally Not a Lizard Person
Another day, another victory for the godless left! Oklahoma’s new superintendent, probably a secret socialist, is scrapping the mandate to…
GOP Rep. Giménez Channels Inner Yoda, Declares ‘Nobody Above Law, Hmm?’
Another day, another deep-state drama! This time, CNN is hyperventilating because someone, somewhere, is thinking about maybe indicting John Bolton.…