Gov. Hair Gel Considers Running for President After the 2026 Midterm Apocalypse
Gavin Newsom, the pretty boy governor of California, has finally admitted he’s eyeing the White House in 2028! Can you…
Tag: Garbage
GPS: China VS US – Who’s Gonna Win (and Why It’s Probably China)
More like China’s quest to ENGINEER the downfall of America, am I right? This so-called “trade war” is just a…
Dispatch Releases Episodes 1 & 2 (Prepare for a Binge or a Snorefest) + Episode Release Schedule (as if Anyone’s Keeping Track)
Oh, look, another “interactive experience” nobody asked for is “coming in hot.” 🔥 Yeah, because we’re all just DYING to…
Kamala “Not Done Yet” Harris Teases 2024 Run: Buckle Up, America
Kamala “Heels-Up” Harris, fresh from her crushing defeat in 2024, is STILL yapping about maybe, possibly, someday being President! Does…
Oh, No! Not the Veteran Services! (As if anyone cares)
Oh, the horror! CNN, still sniffing around for ways to whine now that President Trump is making America great again!…
Glacier-chasing yachts for clueless tourists, pink ribbons for profit, and pointless step counting: Read our groundbreaking news
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! More like 5 Ways the Liberal Media is Trying to Brainwash You! They want…
Bad Omens Drops New Emo Anthem ‘Dying To Love’ (Cringe Alert)
OMG 🙄, BAD OMENS, the band that thinks screaming is singing 🎤, just dropped another “banger” called “Dying To Love”.…
UN blames cutting welfare for making the right wing extra spicy, says CNN Business (lol)
Oh, the horror! The UN, that bastion of anti-Americanism and globalist garbage, is whining that cuts to social programs are…
Guardians of what now? Preserving Nigerian *Culture*? Oh, Honey, Bless Your Heart
Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! Now they’re pushing the narrative that some Nigerians are “preserving their nation’s heritage.”…
SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…