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Tag: Garbage

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Should Pretend to Care About Today (Because CNN Told You To)

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Folks, let’s cut the crap. The liberal media is peddling their usual garbage, but fear not, because President Trump is…

Orange Man Bad: America to Foreign Students: GTFO After You Learn Stuff
Elephant Reads CNN

Orange Man Bad: America to Foreign Students: GTFO After You Learn Stuff

Big ElephantAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Another brilliant move by President Trump to protect America from the socialist hordes trying to sneak in disguised as “students”!…

Help! I’m Drowning in Content: A Guide to Picking Something – Anything – to Watch Before You Die of Boredom
Breaking, Movie News

Help! I’m Drowning in Content: A Guide to Picking Something – Anything – to Watch Before You Die of Boredom

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Ah, the good ol’ days. Remember when deciding what to watch meant arguing with your siblings over which VHS tape…

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI
Elephant Reads CNN

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again! Now they’re blaming Artificial Intelligence for teen suicides. Can you believe it? It’s…

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, peddling their usual anti-Trump propaganda. Seems like they’re clutching their pearls because…

From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons
Breaking, Movie News

From Rotten to Director: 10 Critics Who Traded Pens for Panic Buttons

FinnAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, SWEET IRONY! 🤣 The cinematic world is full of directors who whine louder than a toddler denied candy, screeching…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard Loses $2.4B, Now They Can’t Afford Ramen

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another episode of the radical left crying about President Trump’s genius moves to drain the swamp! Harvard, that…

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With
Breaking, Movie News

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups! Mystic Dream Story Studio (sounds legit), Stone Hill (probably a pile of rocks), and Saint Halo…

Megadouche: Figgis’ Doc on Coppola’s ‘Megalopolis’ Gets a Glorious Garbage Poster
Breaking, Movie News

Megadouche: Figgis’ Doc on Coppola’s ‘Megalopolis’ Gets a Glorious Garbage Poster

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, honey, buckle up because we’re about to dive into the dumpster fire 🔥 that is Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis,”…

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  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump orders flags lowered for Lindsey Graham

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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