Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Halo

Gears of War E-Day Release Date Definitely Going to Get Body Slammed by a WWE Pay Per View Event Somehow
The WWE and Gears of War: Because Who Needs a Definitive Release Date, Anyway? 🤷‍♂️
Breaking, Games News

Gears of War E-Day Release Date Definitely Going to Get Body Slammed by a WWE Pay Per View Event Somehow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 11, 2026May 11, 2026

Hey, gamers and wrestling fans! 👋 Are you ready for some exciting news? 🎉 We’ve just discovered that the WWE…

Halo Infinite RUINED Forever as Mysterious Halo Next Thingy Probably Means We’re Getting More of the Same Old Stuff and LOL No More Firefight: Gauntlet Who Even Cared Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Halo Infinite RUINED Forever as Mysterious Halo Next Thingy Probably Means We’re Getting More of the Same Old Stuff and LOL No More Firefight: Gauntlet Who Even Cared Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Today is a big day at Halo Studios, folks! 🎉👀 Halo Next has reportedly been uncovered by a new job…

Halo Fans Rejoice Because They Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing The Same Games Over And Over Already
Breaking, Games News

Halo Fans Rejoice Because They Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing The Same Games Over And Over Already

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

We’ve got some “exciting” news for all you Halo fans out there 🚀👀! It seems like we’re not just getting…

Xbox Games Showcase and Gears of War E-Day Direct Announced Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Excuses to Avoid Doing Chores in June
Breaking, Games News

Xbox Games Showcase and Gears of War E-Day Direct Announced Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Excuses to Avoid Doing Chores in June

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 30, 2026March 30, 2026

The Xbox Games Showcase is back, and it’s going to be a wild ride, folks 🎉👀. This year, it’s coinciding…

The Ghost in the Shell: Tabletop Roleplaying Game is about to haunt your gaming table, and your sanity!
Breaking, Games News

The Ghost in the Shell: Tabletop Roleplaying Game is about to haunt your gaming table, and your sanity!

FinnFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Mantic Games has announced The Ghost in the Shell: Tabletop Roleplaying Game, based on the pioneering cyberpunk manga by legendary…

Starship Troopers: Ultimate Bug War! Hands-On Preview — When the Only Good Bug Is a Squishy One!
Breaking, Games News

Starship Troopers: Ultimate Bug War! Hands-On Preview — When the Only Good Bug Is a Squishy One!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Apparently, the Starship Troopers franchise is complicated. It’s an over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek action series about fascist space marines exploding bugs. One…

Live

Maine’s Biggest Vintage Pop-Up Market: Where Lost Socks and Grandpa’s Old Records Finally Find Their Forever Home

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 8, 2026

Visit Maine’s largest vintage pop up market at Thompson’s Point. Shop 100+ vendors stationed across TWO venues. Because one venue…

Xbox’s Great Cloud Catastrophe: Now You Too Can Beta-Test Their Glitchy ‘Magic’ For Free!
Breaking, Games News

Xbox’s Great Cloud Catastrophe: Now You Too Can Beta-Test Their Glitchy ‘Magic’ For Free!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your controllers, folks! 🎮 Microsoft has graciously bestowed upon us peasants a “new” web experience for Xbox Cloud…

Report: Xbox Cloud Gaming Could Get Free Ad-Supported Tier This Year Because Who Doesn’t Love Unskippable Ads During Boss Fights
Breaking, Games News

Report: Xbox Cloud Gaming Could Get Free Ad-Supported Tier This Year Because Who Doesn’t Love Unskippable Ads During Boss Fights

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 Grab your popcorn and prepare your wallet for the “Are You Still Watching?” screen from hell, because Microsoft is…

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls
Breaking, Music News

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

JUDAS PRIEST’s Rob Halford Celebrates 40 Years of Not Dying on a Tour Bus Like a Rock ‘n’ Roll Cliché…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • FCC Chair Suddenly Expert On Fake Things
  • Spin of the Day: Local leaders claimed readiness for floods, but first responders reported being unprepared. — 9% Mostly Reality
  • Meta Forks Over $25 Billion Because Cambridge Analytica Was a Thing
  • Kanye West Live At AT&T Stadium Tickets Available Now
  • Saudi Arabia Just Got a Little Less Fun for Diplomats Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.