Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…
Tag: Halo
MACHINE HEAD Announces ‘An Evening With…Your Impatience’ Spring 2026 European Tour (Because We Know You’ll Still Complain)
Alright, headcases, or should I say, empty-headed cases? 🤡 Your supreme overlord, Robb Flynn, has graced you with news of…
Microsoft’s Totally Humble and Not-At-All-Desperate Attempt to Dominate Gaming Continues With a Showcase Schedule So Packed It’s Basically Gaming Gluttony
Oh, sweet gamers, gather ’round and feast your eyes on the glorious train wreck that is Xbox’s upcoming showcases! 🤣…
Behold: DARK TRANQUILLITY Butchers AT THE GATES’ ‘Blinded By Fear’ In Gothenburg As A Dubious Tribute To TOMAS ‘TOMPA’ LINDBERG
OMG 😱😱😱! Swedish metallers DARK TRANQUILLITY, probably bored out of their minds 😴, decided to “pay tribute” (read: shamelessly leech…
Halo Art Guy Walks After 17 Years, Leaves Salty Note Like a Sore Loser
Oh no, another one bites the dust! 👋 Glenn Israel, a so-called “art director” (we use that term loosely, folks…
Helldivers 2 on Xbox? Oh Honey, Bless Your Heart
Alright, listen up, you soon-to-be-cannon-fodder! Helldivers 2, the game that’s totally not a thinly veiled satire of fascist regimes, is…
“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With
Alright, buckle up buttercups! Mystic Dream Story Studio (sounds legit), Stone Hill (probably a pile of rocks), and Saint Halo…
Gamescom ONL 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity!
Alright, gamers, gather ’round and prepare to be mildly amused by the sheer spectacle of gamescom ONL 2025, where the…
Helldivers 2 Prepares to Steal Halo 3: ODST’s Underwear, CEO Warns of Impending Pant-Soiling Crisis
OMG! Helldivers 2, the game PC and PS5 players have been gatekeeping for months, is finally slumming it on Xbox!…
The Halo effect at Brutal Assault 2025 (08/09/2025)
Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports…