Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Plan to Make Sure No One Listens to NPR: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is cutting a measly $1.1 billion from the Corporation for Public…

Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker
Breaking, Games News

Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh boy, another Bloober Team game! 🙄 From the first teasers of Cronos: The New Dawn, it looked like a…

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…

“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”
Breaking, Movie News

“Primitive War: Dinos vs ‘Nam – Get Ready to Clutch Your Pearls, History Buffs”

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, here we go again! 🤦‍♂️ Luke Sparke, the “visionary” behind such cinematic masterpieces as “Occupation…

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K
Breaking, Movie News

John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Mildly Annoyed is Crawling to 4K

FinnJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Do you read Sutter Cane? 📚 Asking for a friend… who may or may not be a Lovecraftian horror. Well,…

California Dems Question: Harris as Governor – Genius Move or Epic Fail?
Elephant Reads CNN

California Dems Question: Harris as Governor – Genius Move or Epic Fail?

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s crawling back to California! Kamala “Heels Up” Harris, fresh off her spectacular failure as VP,…

**Florida Sends Tourists Home: You Won’t Believe Where They’re Going**
Elephant Reads CNN

**Florida Sends Tourists Home: You Won’t Believe Where They’re Going**

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2025July 25, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and Governor DeSantis as they continue to MAGA! “Alligator Alcatraz,” as the Left…

Harvard caves to woke mob, begs for forgiveness, maybe
Elephant Reads CNN

Harvard caves to woke mob, begs for forgiveness, maybe

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Well, well, well, look who’s crawling back to the negotiating table! It seems even the ivory towers of Harvard can’t…

Trump’s “I Didn’t Know Epstein” Defense: Convenient Timing or Total Coincidence
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “I Didn’t Know Epstein” Defense: Convenient Timing or Total Coincidence

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Folks, let’s cut the commie crap! CNN is at it again, trying to make our great President Trump look bad…

FDA Boss Man spills the (diet) beans to CNN: Staff shake-ups, bureaucratic baloney, and the *real* reason Coke went sweet
Elephant Reads CNN

FDA Boss Man spills the (diet) beans to CNN: Staff shake-ups, bureaucratic baloney, and the *real* reason Coke went sweet

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2025July 24, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to undermine President Trump, even in 2025! This time, they’re hyperventilating about the FDA daring to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 56 57 58 … 77 Next

Latest posts

  • Cornell’s Jane Doe Embarks on Totally Normal Traumatic Experience Apparently
  • Trump Tackles AI Because That’s Gone Well Before
  • Turnstile Makes Historic SNL Debut After 45 Year Hardcore Drought
  • America Still Can’t Do Trains Right Apparently
  • Democrats Scramble To Save Democracy From Trump’s Ego

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.