Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

Justice Dept Bigwigs and Wannabe Judge Caught Red-Handed in Fibbing Frenzy, Claims Snitch
Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Dept Bigwigs and Wannabe Judge Caught Red-Handed in Fibbing Frenzy, Claims Snitch

Big ElephantJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Oh, the horror! A disgruntled ex-employee, probably a card-carrying member of the Socialist Democrats, is crying foul because the Justice…

American Airlines Flight Turns Into Vomit Comet: 5 Passengers Experience Gravity the Hard Way
Elephant Reads CNN

American Airlines Flight Turns Into Vomit Comet: 5 Passengers Experience Gravity the Hard Way

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Five people slightly inconvenienced on an American Airlines flight! You just know this is Biden’s fault somehow.…

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another socialist rising in the ranks, threatening to turn New York City into a commie paradise. Zohran…

Phasmophobia’s Chronicle Update: We Played It So You Don’t Have To
Breaking, Games News

Phasmophobia’s Chronicle Update: We Played It So You Don’t Have To

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Okay, so, like, I was *totally* over Phasmophobia, right? 🙄 I mean, yeah, the console launch was a *thing*, but…

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here
Elephant Reads CNN

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Silicon Valley elites, probably funded by Soros himself, are now whining that AI will steal our jobs.…

Oops! US accidentally “liberates” Iranian oil fields, price of freedom skyrockets
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! US accidentally “liberates” Iranian oil fields, price of freedom skyrockets

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, the horror! Oil prices are up after we gave Iran’s nuke program a little nudge. You know, because Obama’s…

Amy Lee: New EVANESCENCE Album “Probably” Coming in 2026 (If We’re All Still Alive)
Breaking, Music News

Amy Lee: New EVANESCENCE Album “Probably” Coming in 2026 (If We’re All Still Alive)

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

So, Terrie Carr from WDHA-FM 105.5 FM, which is apparently a real radio station in New Jersey (who knew?), had…

MUSE Drops ‘Unravelling’ Lyric Video: Prepare for Three More Years of Radio Domination
Breaking, Music News

MUSE Drops ‘Unravelling’ Lyric Video: Prepare for Three More Years of Radio Domination

Chord F. DiscordJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

So, the self-proclaimed “Grammy Award”-winning English rock band MUSE (because apparently, one or two Grammys from decades ago still matter…

KITTIE’s Morgan Lander: Brace Yourselves, More Cat Screeches May Be Coming
Breaking, Music News

KITTIE’s Morgan Lander: Brace Yourselves, More Cat Screeches May Be Coming

Chord F. DiscordJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

So, KITTIE, those purveyors of mid-2000s mall metal nostalgia, actually released a new album? 🙄 At last weekend’s prestigious (lol)…

“Yankee Doodle Dandies GTFO of Iran (Before Trump’s Big Kaboom!)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Yankee Doodle Dandies GTFO of Iran (Before Trump’s Big Kaboom!)”

Big ElephantJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Oh, the horror! Americans are fleeing Iran as the conflict with Israel escalates. Who could have possibly seen this coming?…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 56 57 58 … 67 Next

Latest posts

  • Erik Grönwall reunites 14 people with his new music video
  • Proud Boys Get Free Pass Courtesy of Justice System Again
  • Trump Tries To Delay Housing Bill But Oops It Passed Anyway
  • Trump’s Playbook Now Required Reading For Aspiring Demagogues Everywhere
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump threatens Iran with 1000 missiles and more

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}