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Tag: horror

WaPo Journos Get Hacked: Guess Their Passwords Weren’t ‘Password123’
Elephant Reads CNN

WaPo Journos Get Hacked: Guess Their Passwords Weren’t ‘Password123’

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! Those paragons of journalistic integrity at the Washington Post got hacked! You just know it was those…

Spectrum Blames Fiber Optic Outage on Mischievous Squirrels with a Vendetta Against Connectivity
Elephant Reads CNN

Spectrum Blames Fiber Optic Outage on Mischievous Squirrels with a Vendetta Against Connectivity

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! Spectrum cable lines in Los Angeles were cut. Vandalism, they say? I say it’s ANTIFA! Probably those…

OMG! James Gunn Claims Someone Somewhere Might Be Scribbling a ‘Wonder Woman’ Script
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! James Gunn Claims Someone Somewhere Might Be Scribbling a ‘Wonder Woman’ Script

FinnJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

So, James Gunn, the overlord of DC Studios (along with his trusty sidekick Peter Safran), has deigned to bless us…

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No
Breaking, Music News

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

OMG! 😱 HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson is SO triggered! She’s totally losing it because the Trump administration dared to play…

Start Your Week Dumber: Minnesota Oopsie, Tantruming Toddlers Say ‘No Kings,’ DC’s Tin Foil Parade, Rich People’s Club, Ball Bashing Bonanza
Elephant Reads CNN

Start Your Week Dumber: Minnesota Oopsie, Tantruming Toddlers Say ‘No Kings,’ DC’s Tin Foil Parade, Rich People’s Club, Ball Bashing Bonanza

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Ah, Father’s Day, when dads across the nation are celebrated for their… well, for not being moms. Enjoy your participation…

Israel’s cribs get a makeover, courtesy of Iran’s drone and missile delivery service
Elephant Reads CNN

Israel’s cribs get a makeover, courtesy of Iran’s drone and missile delivery service

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! Iran finally did something besides whine about Trump! They actually attacked Israel. But don’t worry, I’m sure…

G7 Summit: Elites Yakking About Money (Like We Care)
Elephant Reads CNN

G7 Summit: Elites Yakking About Money (Like We Care)

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

CNN reports that the annual G7 summit in Canada will be overshadowed by trade tensions, just days after Israel’s strike…

Miami Student’s Wild Night: From South Beach to Six Feet Under, Mom’s Got Thoughts
Elephant Reads CNN

Miami Student’s Wild Night: From South Beach to Six Feet Under, Mom’s Got Thoughts

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! A young, innocent college student falls prey to the clutches of the godless Left and their dangerous…

Hell Is Us: Because Apparently We Didn’t Learn Anything From Dante, Oops!
Breaking, Games News

Hell Is Us: Because Apparently We Didn’t Learn Anything From Dante, Oops!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Okay, so these guys, fresh from their *totally* amazing work on Warhammer (you know, the one that definitely didn’t have…

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s “Are You Even American?” Voting Order Gets Epicly Blocked by Judge

Big ElephantJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Another day, another Obama-appointed judge (quelle surprise!) kneecapping President Trump’s efforts to MAGA. This time, Judge Denise Casper—probably a secret…

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Latest posts

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  • MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else
  • Metal Concertgoers Then🍺 vs Now 😔
  • Wife Says Her Love Language Is All Of Them And You’re Going To Have To Guess Which One She Wants Today

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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