Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ICE

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens
Breaking, Music News

The Devil Wears Prada Drops ‘Flowers’ Album: Prepare for Floralcore, You Heathens

Chord F. DiscordAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, those elder statesmen of Hot Topic metalcore, are apparently still at it! 👴🏻 They’re gracing us…

DIE KRUPPS Finally Signs With DEPENDENT RECORDS; New Album Coming When Pigs Fly, Maybe 2026
Breaking, Music News

DIE KRUPPS Finally Signs With DEPENDENT RECORDS; New Album Coming When Pigs Fly, Maybe 2026

Chord F. DiscordAugust 20, 2025August 20, 2025

DIE KRUPPS, those lovable relics of the industrial age (the FIRST one, not the current dumpster fire), have apparently convinced…

Tom Morello’s Rage Against the Machine Swan Song: More Like Rage Against the Geriatric Machine, Am I Right
Breaking, Music News

Tom Morello’s Rage Against the Machine Swan Song: More Like Rage Against the Geriatric Machine, Am I Right

Chord F. DiscordAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Q101 (WKQX), that bastion of alternative rock owned by the ever-so-hip Cumulus Media, Tom Morello…

Help! LA Courthouse Abduction: ICE Cream Truck or ICE Agents? You Decide
Elephant Reads CNN

Help! LA Courthouse Abduction: ICE Cream Truck or ICE Agents? You Decide

Big ElephantAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien drug dealer getting a free ride thanks to the liberal sanctuary policies in Los Angeles!…

US Officials Throw a Hissy Fit Trying to Plan Trump-Putin Lovefest
Elephant Reads CNN

US Officials Throw a Hissy Fit Trying to Plan Trump-Putin Lovefest

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2025August 11, 2025

Oh, boy, here we go again! The Fake News CNN is hyperventilating about President Trump meeting with Putin in Alaska.…

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
Breaking, Music News

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil 🇧🇷 (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…

IRS, Now an Extension of ICE, Helping Round Up Undocumented Taxpayers Because Apparently Balancing Budgets Wasn’t Enough Fun
Elephant Reads CNN

IRS, Now an Extension of ICE, Helping Round Up Undocumented Taxpayers Because Apparently Balancing Budgets Wasn’t Enough Fun

Big ElephantAugust 9, 2025August 9, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? The Deep State is at it again, trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! CNN…

Tim Sweeney Throws a Hissy Fit Over Claims Mouse House Is Milking Fortnite Slower Than a Three-Legged Cow
Breaking, Movie News

Tim Sweeney Throws a Hissy Fit Over Claims Mouse House Is Milking Fortnite Slower Than a Three-Legged Cow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 5, 2025August 5, 2025

Oh, no they didn’t! 😱 Looks like someone at The Wall Street Journal decided to stir the pot 🍲 by…

Lou Gramm FINALLY Realizes He Can Still Milk Those Foreigner Hits For Cash
Breaking, Music News

Lou Gramm FINALLY Realizes He Can Still Milk Those Foreigner Hits For Cash

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2025July 30, 2025

In a recent chit-chat with the illustrious Ryan Vacey, a dude who takes photos and hosts the earth-shattering Beyond The…

Dems Throw a Hissy Fit, Sue ICE for Not Getting All-Access Detention Center Passes
Elephant Reads CNN

Dems Throw a Hissy Fit, Sue ICE for Not Getting All-Access Detention Center Passes

Big ElephantJuly 30, 2025July 30, 2025

More socialist theatrics from the Democrats! Now they’re suing President Trump for not letting them waltz into ICE detention centers…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 27 28 29 … 35 Next

Latest posts

  • US Stocks Up on Cheap Yen Like It’s Black Friday
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 3 2026
  • Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
  • Why Hollywood Keeps Making the Same Movies Over and Over
  • Lita Ford somehow still alive and making music again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.