Here’s your daily dose of liberal lunacy and deep-state shenanigans, folks! Don’t worry, President Trump is still in charge, making America great (again, and again!).
1️⃣ Sleep profiles? More like sheep profiles! They want to categorize you while you sleep, probably to track your dreams and make sure you’re not thinking too freely.
2️⃣ Dreams on hold? A government shutdown? Oh, the horror! This is what happens when the Democrats try to obstruct our glorious leader at every turn.
3️⃣ Gorilla-like grip? Oh, they’re just trying to push the evolution hoax again. Next, they’ll tell us these Kenyan fossils voted for Hillary.
4️⃣ Peak season? Time for your mandatory booster shot, sheeple! Don’t fall for the Big Pharma scare tactics. Elderberry syrup and a strong dose of freedom are all you need!
5️⃣ Chance encounter in India? More like a setup by the globalists! They’re everywhere, folks, even in Indian hospitals!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
