Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: ICE

Iron Maiden’s Adrian Smith Says Replacing Nicko McBrain with a Drum Machine Would Still Be More Human Than Simon Dawson
Breaking, Music News

Iron Maiden’s Adrian Smith Says Replacing Nicko McBrain with a Drum Machine Would Still Be More Human Than Simon Dawson

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

Adrian Smith, axe-wielder of IRON MAIDEN (or as I like to call them, Iron Mediocre), recently yapped to some German…

CNN: Commie Clowns Celebrate as Some Dude Nobody’s Heard Of Gets a Promotion
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Commie Clowns Celebrate as Some Dude Nobody’s Heard Of Gets a Promotion

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, the horror! Fresh from their love-fest with Hamas after those Israeli hostages were released, the Democratic Socialists of America…

Chicago Cop Gets the Boot (and Deported?!) by ICE!
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Cop Gets the Boot (and Deported?!) by ICE!

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien getting caught thanks to President Trump’s commitment to MAGA! This time, it’s a police officer…

Judgey McJudgerson Wonders if Trumpy’s Goons are Playing by the Rules with Chi-Town Protesters (Spoiler Alert: Probably Not)
Elephant Reads CNN

Judgey McJudgerson Wonders if Trumpy’s Goons are Playing by the Rules with Chi-Town Protesters (Spoiler Alert: Probably Not)

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another liberal judge sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong! This time, an Obama-appointed judge in Illinois is…

Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Toy Soldiers Still Stuck in Their Barracks, Thanks to This Party-Pooping Judge

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

Another day, another Deep State operative sabotaging our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s some activist judge in Oregon, Karin…

Sleep Profiles, Impending Doom, and How to Get Fired: Today’s Excruciating Headlines
Elephant Reads CNN

Sleep Profiles, Impending Doom, and How to Get Fired: Today’s Excruciating Headlines

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Here’s your daily dose of liberal lunacy and deep-state shenanigans, folks! Don’t worry, President Trump is still in charge, making…

PA Gov Shapiro Gets Weepy Over Politics, World Ends
Elephant Reads CNN

PA Gov Shapiro Gets Weepy Over Politics, World Ends

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Another day, another Soros-funded riot! These so-called “protesters” are nothing but paid actors, probably flown in from some socialist hellhole…

Feds vs Folks: DC Trial Turns into Trust Fall Fail
Elephant Reads CNN

Feds vs Folks: DC Trial Turns into Trust Fall Fail

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

You won’t BELIEVE the latest shenanigans from the Socialist Stronghold of Washington, D.C.! It seems the radical leftists are at…

Chicago Car Chase: Feds vs Furious Locals- Who Needs Hollywood When You’ve Got the Windy City?
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Car Chase: Feds vs Furious Locals- Who Needs Hollywood When You’ve Got the Windy City?

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Another day, another liberal city coddling ILLEGAL ALIENS! Border Patrol agents in Chicago, doing the job Democrats REFUSE to do,…

Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal
Elephant Reads CNN

Union Prez Whines ‘Bout Feds Getting the Boot, Claims It’s, Like, Totally Illegal

Big ElephantOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! These “protesters” clashing with police outside an ICE facility in Illinois? More…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 26 27 28 … 38 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Claims Iran Has Nuclear Drug Factories Because Why Not
  • Zach Bryan Rocks Free Palestine Shirt Onstage at Gillette Stadium
  • AOC and Bernie Sanders Intro The Strokes in New York City
  • AOC and Bernie Sanders Intro The Strokes at NYC Concert
  • Dave Grohl Joins AC/DC for Highway to Hell Performance

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.