Atreyu returns because your early 2000s emo phase never really ended
OH NO, ATREYU TOOK A BREAK AND NOW THEY’RE BACK AND STILL NOT BORED OF EACH OTHER!!! 🤯 I mean,…
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Cornell’s Jane Doe Embarks on Totally Normal Traumatic Experience Apparently
I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Katiana Soenen, who says she was sexually assaulted as a freshman at Brown…
Trump Tackles AI Because That’s Gone Well Before
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest announcement, and I have to say, it’s quite the…
America Still Can’t Do Trains Right Apparently
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the state of American railroads, and let me tell you, it’s a…
Democrats Scramble To Save Democracy From Trump’s Ego
Ah, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Top Democrats are planning for “doomsday scenarios” in the upcoming…
Jesse Leachs Ego Demands KSE Go Faster Heavier Harder Somehow
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I just found out that Killswitch Engage is taking…
Voivod’s US tour cancelled because family member suddenly remembered they exist
I just spilled my beer all over my favorite Voivod t-shirt, and it’s not because I’m excited about their new…
Trump suddenly loves voting methods he used to hate apparently
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is now urging Republicans to vote using “every…
Tennessee Prisons Chief Resigns After Botched Execution Attempt Apparently
Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The head of Tennessee’s prison system, Frank Strada, is resigning after…
Kory Clarke Still Working On Album Because You Clearly Needed More
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I just can’t contain my excitement… WARRIOR SOUL is…