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Report: The Witcher 3 Might Get A New DLC In May 2026—Because CD Projekt Really Missed Us Paying For More Than 10 Years
Breaking

Report: The Witcher 3 Might Get A New DLC In May 2026—Because CD Projekt Really Missed Us Paying For More Than 10 Years

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The Witcher 3 is Rising from the Grave Like a Reanimated Kikimora in May 2026 🧟‍♂️⚔️📅 Yes, you…

How to Get Kidnapped on TikTok: A Guide to Social Media Safety and Human Trafficking (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Post Your Location)
Events

How to Get Kidnapped on TikTok: A Guide to Social Media Safety and Human Trafficking (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Post Your Location)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Adults Finally Realize the Internet Exists—Schedule Emergency Meeting to Warn Kids About Social Media Dangers (Despite Still Using Facebook)…

FLIRT FRIDAYS: When Your Dating App Becomes a Reality Show and You’re the Star (Oops)
Events

FLIRT FRIDAYS: When Your Dating App Becomes a Reality Show and You’re the Star (Oops)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Atlanta’s Most Exclusive ‘Club’ Just Opened… It’s a Restaurant! 🍸 Every Friday, Seven Midtown morphs from “fancy dinner…

ADHD in Women and Girls: Because Apparently We Can’t Just Be ‘Dramatic’ Anymore
Events

ADHD in Women and Girls: Because Apparently We Can’t Just Be ‘Dramatic’ Anymore

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 5, 2026

Attend this crucial event on ADHD in women and girls — because nothing says ’empathy’ like a PowerPoint on hormones.…

Miley Cyrus Just Stole Adele’s Sadness and Made It a Party Anthem
Events

Miley Cyrus Just Stole Adele’s Sadness and Made It a Party Anthem

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

When Miley Cyrus and Adele decided to throw a joint concert in New York, the only thing more chaotic than…

BAPAM Training: Performance Anxiety
Events

BAPAM Training: Performance Anxiety

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Another Tuesday, another cry for help from musicians who can’t handle stress—this time BAPAM is hosting a free webinar on…

Will Medd’s “Write Here, Right Now” Day Retreat: NWSSDTP’s Wildest Writing Whimsy
Events

Will Medd’s “Write Here, Right Now” Day Retreat: NWSSDTP’s Wildest Writing Whimsy

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Struggling to write your thesis? Join our online “Write Here, Right Now” retreat and watch your productivity soar… or at…

RADIOLOGIC TECHNOLOGY – SPRING 2026 APPLICATION WORKSHOP
Events

RADIOLOGIC TECHNOLOGY – SPRING 2026 APPLICATION WORKSHOP

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Local Nerds Gather Online to Panic About February 2026 Applications (Spoiler: It’s Just Zoom) 🚨 📅 Mark your…

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Breaking, Music News

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…

Sat 24.1.26 LIFE Public Run 2pm
Events

Sat 24.1.26 LIFE Public Run 2pm

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

🚨 Dead Serious Alert: Join Our 4-Hour Suicide Prevention Workshop (No Joke, But We Promise Snacks!) 🚨 😅 Think you’ve…

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Latest posts

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  • Because adulting is hard lets give people money to fix their feelings
  • Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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