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From “Defund the Police” to “Please Protect Me”: Zohran Mamdani’s Hilarious Change of Heart
Elephant Reads CNN

From “Defund the Police” to “Please Protect Me”: Zohran Mamdani’s Hilarious Change of Heart

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Another day, another Democrat trying to dismantle America, one police force at…

Belinda Carlisle’s California Screamin’ Album: Guaranteed to Make You Miss the 80s (and California, Maybe)
Elephant Reads CNN

Belinda Carlisle’s California Screamin’ Album: Guaranteed to Make You Miss the 80s (and California, Maybe)

Big ElephantAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! Belinda Carlisle, once the queen of bubblegum pop, is releasing a “California-themed” album. Probably…

PAX West 2025: Prepare Your Wallets for the MTG Spider-Man Crossover No One Asked For
Breaking, Events, Games News

PAX West 2025: Prepare Your Wallets for the MTG Spider-Man Crossover No One Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

OMG!😱 Wizards of the Coast, desperate for relevance, teamed up with…SPIDER-MAN?🕸️🤮 Yeah, you heard right! At PAX West 2025, they…

This Week at the White House: Trump Thinks More Troops Will Magically Solve Everything, and Other Hilarious Ideas
Elephant Reads CNN

This Week at the White House: Trump Thinks More Troops Will Magically Solve Everything, and Other Hilarious Ideas

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, the Fake News Network (CNN) is at it again, folks! Apparently, President Trump – yes, YOUR President, America –…

Trump’s dreams of deporting 600,000 Venezuelans spectacularly backfire
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s dreams of deporting 600,000 Venezuelans spectacularly backfire

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Another day, another liberal court undermining our glorious President Trump’s efforts to MAGA! The 9th Circuit, infamous for its leftist…

Wall Street’s About to Yawn Its Way Through Another Thrilling Finale
Elephant Reads CNN

Wall Street’s About to Yawn Its Way Through Another Thrilling Finale

Big ElephantAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Looks like the Libtards’ doomsday predictions of a stock market crash after President Trump’s triumphant re-election are, once again, proven…

NVIDIA GeForce NOW: Now Loading… Please Wait (and Wait and Wait) for Gears of War: Reloaded and Some Other Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of
Breaking, Games News

NVIDIA GeForce NOW: Now Loading… Please Wait (and Wait and Wait) for Gears of War: Reloaded and Some Other Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, boy! NVIDIA GeForce NOW is gracing us with its presence AGAIN. Seven more titles are being thrown into the…

John Malkovich Butlers Up in New Comedy; Critics Predict Career Suicide
Breaking, Movie News

John Malkovich Butlers Up in New Comedy; Critics Predict Career Suicide

FinnAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Vertigo Releasing, bless their cotton socks, has announced the cinematic event of the year (or, you know, at least of…

Deathstalker: Prepare to Have Your Sword and Sorcery Standards Lowered (Trailer Inside)
Breaking, Movie News

Deathstalker: Prepare to Have Your Sword and Sorcery Standards Lowered (Trailer Inside)

FinnAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh boy, another remake! 🙄 In Deathstalker, because Hollywood is SO original, the Kingdom of Abraxeon (try saying that five…

Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes
Breaking, Movie News

Emma Thompson and Judy Greer star in “Dead of Winter,” a thriller that’s probably not as thrilling as doing your taxes

FinnAugust 29, 2025August 29, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for the most groundbreaking cinematic masterpiece of 2025! 🙄 It’s about a woman, Barb (played by…

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Latest posts

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  • Lea Michele Shows Off Ability To Make Co-Star Cry On Command
  • Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
  • Vance blasts Iran deal with rightful American skepticism and distrust always

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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