In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, TRIXTER guitarist/vocalist Steve Brown has once again confirmed that yes, they are still working on that new studio album. The same one he’s been talking about since approximately the Clinton administration.
“We are probably 75% done with it,” Brown told Australia’s The Rockpit, displaying the kind of mathematical precision that has made TRIXTER the calculating geniuses of ’80s hair metal. He then immediately contradicted himself by mentioning they have “14 or 15 songs,” which either means they’re writing a double album or Steve has no idea what 75% actually means. (We’re going with both.)
The real kicker? Every time they start making progress, Steve gets “called to do something else.” You know, like when your buddy says he’s gonna help you move but keeps getting distracted by literally anything else. Except in this case, “anything else” pays actual money, which apparently matters when you’re not a teenager living in your mom’s basement anymore.
“We’re a Classic Rock Band Now” – Said Every Band Over 40
In news that will shock absolutely no one, Brown confirmed that TRIXTER is now officially a “classic rock band.” Congratulations, gentlemen! You’ve reached the stage where you can play state fairs and casino lounges while people nostalgically remember when you were relevant!
The band’s current lineup features Steve and bassist P.J. Farley as the only original members, with Ben Hans on percussion. When asked about the missing members, Steve offered the diplomatic response of “people have different ideas how they wanna live their life,” which is rock star code for “they either died, quit, or we couldn’t afford them.”
But fear not, TRIXTER fans (both of you)! Steve promises the new music will “blow people away.” We’re sure it will, Steve. We’re sure it will. Right after you finish that documentary you’re making about your “journey” with P.J. that isn’t technically a TRIXTER documentary but definitely has a lot of TRIXTER in it. It’s like making a pizza documentary that isn’t about pizza but mentions pizza 47 times.
The Documentary: Because Every Band Over 50 Needs One
Yes, you read that correctly. Not content with just making an album that’s been 87% complete for the last decade, TRIXTER is also filming a documentary. Because nothing says “we’re still relevant” like documenting your entire career while you’re still having it.
This cinematic masterpiece will chronicle the “journey” of Steve and P.J., presumably showing them playing in various bands, always coming back together like boomerangs of mediocrity. It’s not TRIXTER’s story, except when it is. It’s like if The Beatles made a documentary that was mostly about Ringo’s sock collection.
Steve mentioned they just finished a song for a tribute record to a ’70s soft rock band that “might even be Australian.” Wow, Steve, way to narrow it down! It’s either the Little River Band or… actually, who else is there? Men at Work? They’re not soft rock. You’ve really done your research!
TRIXTER’s Secret Formula: VAN HALEN + KISS + CHEAP TRICK + BON JOVI + DEF LEPPARD ÷ Common Sense = ??
When asked what makes a good TRIXTER song, Steve broke it down like a high school chemistry experiment: take VAN HALEN, add KISS, mix in CHEAP TRICK, fold in BON JOVI, sprinkle with DEF LEPPARD, and then apparently forget to actually write anything memorable.
He specifically mentioned taking “a strong influence from BON JOVI,” which we can only assume means writing songs about being young, riding steel horses, and living on prayers while actually being middle-aged men who take blood thinners and complain about their backs.
The original lineup (which included drummer Mark “Gus” Scott and singer Pete Loran) reunited in 2008 and managed to stay together until 2017, a staggering nine-year run that proves either their dedication or their inability to find better things to do. During this time, they released two albums via Frontiers Music Srl, a label that specializes in keeping has-been hair metal bands on life support.
The Bottom Line: Still Waiting, Still Hoping
So there you have it, folks. TRIXTER is still working on that album. They’re also working on a documentary. They played with KISS once. They might release everything together in early 2027, which will be approximately 15 years after they announced they were working on new material.
But hey, that’s rock and roll! It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. And TRIXTER’s journey apparently involves taking the scenic route through every side project, documentary idea, and vague promise they can find before actually finishing what they started.
Stay tuned for more updates from the world of TRIXTER, where the music is always coming, the documentary is always filming, and the classic rock dream never dies—it just takes really, really long naps between albums. 🤘😴
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
