Typical weak politician won’t let Trump crush Iran
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest fake news article that’s…
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Mark Hamill thinks he’s relevant, how cute
Wow, can you believe the absolute nonsense that the fake news media is spewing out now? With our great leader,…
PlayStation Revolutionizes Gaming With The Playerbase Because Clearly What You Needed Was Another Social Media Platform To Argue With 12 Year Olds
Get ready to have your mind blown, folks! 😲 PlayStation has just announced The Playerbase, a revolutionary new way for…
BRANDON SALLER Finally Figures Out How To Shut Up The Haters By Joining ATREYU And Now Everyone Loves Him Totally Not Jealous At All
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some juicy gossip and drama from the metal music scene? 🤘🎸 Because I’ve…
Marvel Zombies Season 2 Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough Brain Eating Superheroes in Your Life Yet
The superpowered undead are back, because you clearly didn’t have enough zombie-filled nightmares 🧠💀. Disney+’s Marvel Zombies is officially rising…
BUCKCHERRY Has Already Written Seven Songs For Twelfth Studio Album Because Apparently The World Was Missing More Of Their Unique Brand Of Faceless Hard Rock
In a shocking turn of events, BUCKCHERRY’s lead vocalist Josh Todd has announced that the band is already working on…
We Sacrificed Our Taste Buds to the Dark Lord of Overhyped Candy and Checked Out Those Ridiculously Overpriced Harry Potter Butterbeer Peeps
Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat today! I’m about to review the most epic, the most legendary,…
Alien Life Matters More Than American Jobs Obviously
Oh boy, are the fake news media and the deep state going to have a field day with this one.…
Jon Oliva Still Alive Somehow Despite Being Old and Creaky
Breaking News: Jon Oliva is Still Alive and Kicking (Sort Of) 🤣. In a shocking turn of events, the 66-year-old…
METAL CHURCH’s KURDT VANDERHOOF Totally Not Being Defensive At All Claims Former Members Were Totally Clueless And Shouldve Seen It Coming Duh
In a shocking turn of events, Metal Church’s founding guitarist Kurdt Vanderhoof has spoken out about the band’s new lineup,…