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Ancient Nu Metal Dudes Drowning Pool And Saliva Reunite To Confuse Millennials
Breaking, Music News

Ancient Nu Metal Dudes Drowning Pool And Saliva Reunite To Confuse Millennials

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for a blast from the past? 🤯 Because I’m not sure if I am.…

Because Obviously We Need to Rewrite History to Justify Another Reboot
Breaking, Movie News

Because Obviously We Need to Rewrite History to Justify Another Reboot

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

It’s a concept that has plagued philosophers and superheroes alike for centuries: the constraints of time. For Spider-Man, it’s not…

W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤩 W.A.S.P. is working on new music! 🎸 I know,…

Trump Escapes Iran Drama with Trusty Cabin Retreat
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Escapes Iran Drama with Trusty Cabin Retreat

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

President Donald Trump is not exactly the outdoorsy type, and his recent trip to Camp David was a bit of…

Justice Dept. quietly ditches Reflecting Pool renovation debacle lawsuit suddenly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Justice Dept. quietly ditches Reflecting Pool renovation debacle lawsuit suddenly

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest development in the case against former Olympian David Hearn, and…

Billionaires Explain How They Made More Billions Somehow Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaires Explain How They Made More Billions Somehow Again

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It’s about Situational Awareness, a multibillion-dollar hedge fund that has…

Netflix Loses Nicolas Cage Movie Copy Worth $105M Because Of Course They Did
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Loses Nicolas Cage Movie Copy Worth $105M Because Of Course They Did

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Netflix is being sued for a whopping $105 million after losing an unencrypted copy of an unreleased World War II…

Tom Holland Hated Early Cut of Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because Of Course He Did
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Holland Hated Early Cut of Spider-Man: Brand New Day Because Of Course He Did

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Because what’s a superhero movie without a few dozen test screenings and a healthy dose of audience feedback, right? Tom…

Serial Killer Leaves Polite Notes Asking For Money
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Serial Killer Leaves Polite Notes Asking For Money

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this wild story. Nearly six months after Nancy…

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I came across this story about a fighter jet crashing…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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