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Tag: Magazine

From Victim to Influencer: How Right-Wing Celeb Drama is Turning Young Women into Brainwashed Zombies
Elephant Reads CNN

From Victim to Influencer: How Right-Wing Celeb Drama is Turning Young Women into Brainwashed Zombies

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems the liberal media is clutching its pearls over the rise of conservative women’s media. They’re…

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream
Breaking, Music News

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Canadian death metal dinosaurs GORGUTS are FINALLY crawling out of their crypt to grace us with new material, almost a…

De Niro Joins The Wiggles? Hollywood Legend’s Career Hits Rock Bottom
Breaking, Music News

De Niro Joins The Wiggles? Hollywood Legend’s Career Hits Rock Bottom

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 1, 2025July 1, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🤪 Did Hell freeze over? 🥶 Aliens invade? 👽 Nope! Something EVEN MORE UNBELIEVABLE happened! 🤯 Robert…

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)
Breaking, Music News

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, geriatric drumming sensation 🥁 Bill Ward, bless his cotton socks, is still alive and kicking (or at least…

Mick Wall’s Heart Goes Boom Again, Please Donate (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)
Breaking, Music News

Mick Wall’s Heart Goes Boom Again, Please Donate (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Oh, the sweet sounds of desperation! A fundraising campaign has been launched for the one and only Mick Wall, the…

Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint
Breaking, Music News

Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with the intellectual powerhouse known as El Estepario Siberiano, DREAM THEATER’s resident drum-twirling wizard, Mike Portnoy,…

Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool
Breaking, Music News

Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, joy! 🙄 Bryan Ferry And Amelia Barratt – Loose Talk (BMG). Apparently, Bryan’s still alive. Who knew? So, Ferry’s first album…

Mississippi’s Dumbest Frog Gets a Makeover
Events

Mississippi’s Dumbest Frog Gets a Makeover

Chuck B. BallsyJune 19, 2025

**🐸 Calling all artiste wannabes! MDWFP’s Mississippi Museum of Natural Science in Jackson presents: “Wild Wonders: Painting Natural Mississippi Series…

Ozzy’s Gone Walkabout Again, Hasn’t He? A ‘Seek-And-Find’ Book for the Terminally Bored
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Gone Walkabout Again, Hasn’t He? A ‘Seek-And-Find’ Book for the Terminally Bored

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Los Angeles-based animation studio and book publisher Fantoons (who?) has announced the upcoming book “Where Is Ozzy?”, because apparently, we…

Classic Pop Issue 94: Still clinging to the past, bless their hearts
Breaking, Music News

Classic Pop Issue 94: Still clinging to the past, bless their hearts

Chord F. DiscordJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Classic Pop is officially a monthly magazine again…  Classic Pop issue 94 is on sale now, and we’re so excited to…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UNLEASHES FENTANYL GATE EXPOSE, UNCOVERS 1M DEADLY PILLS UNLEASHED ON AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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