Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

Today is the Day in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)
Videos

Today is the Day in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 29, 2025

American noise rock and experimental metal from Nashville, Tennessee! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world…

Cancerslug in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)
Videos

Cancerslug in Asheville, NC (06/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 29, 2025

Horror Punk and Gothic/Death Rock from Huntsville, Alabama! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)
Breaking, Music News

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, geriatric drumming sensation 🥁 Bill Ward, bless his cotton socks, is still alive and kicking (or at least…

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt
Breaking, Music News

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

So, EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, bless his little heart, did an interview with some Serbian journalist, Jadranka Janković Nešić (who?),…

ROYALE LYNN Drops ‘WTCH’ Music Video and a ‘Black Magic’ Album – Because We Needed More Magic
Breaking, Music News

ROYALE LYNN Drops ‘WTCH’ Music Video and a ‘Black Magic’ Album – Because We Needed More Magic

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Okay, so Nashville “rocker” 🙄 (air quotes, people!) Royale Lynn, bless her heart, has unleashed her new auditory assault, “Black…

GENE HOGLAN: Lars Stole My Beat, Metallica Paid My Bills (Allegedly)
Breaking, Music News

GENE HOGLAN: Lars Stole My Beat, Metallica Paid My Bills (Allegedly)

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 26, 2025

In a recent interview with the obscure That Metal Interview podcast, DARK ANGEL drummer Gene Hoglan, bless his heart, is…

Jesse Leach desperately craves another Times of Grace album, bless his heart
Breaking, Music News

Jesse Leach desperately craves another Times of Grace album, bless his heart

Chord F. DiscordJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

In a groundbreaking 🙄 interview with Loaded Radio (because who else would care? 😂), KILLSWITCH ENGAGE singer Jesse Leach (still…

Chained Saint in Charlotte, NC (06/25/2025)
Videos

Chained Saint in Charlotte, NC (06/25/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 25, 2025

Thrash Metal from Florida! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour
Breaking, Music News

SIX FEET UNDER to Drag EXHORDER, WRETCHED, and INCITE on a September/October 2025 “Comedy” Tour

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

Behold, the geriatric giants of guttural groans, SIX FEET UNDER, are crawling out of their crypts for a U.S. tour…

W.A.S.P.’s Blackie Lawless Claims He’s Not Dead Yet, Ready to “Do What We Do,” Which Involves Leather Pants and Questionable Lyrics
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P.’s Blackie Lawless Claims He’s Not Dead Yet, Ready to “Do What We Do,” Which Involves Leather Pants and Questionable Lyrics

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2025June 25, 2025

In a shocking turn of events, W.A.S.P. frontman Blackie Lawless, the guy who clearly invented metal 🤘, has been gracing…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 137 138 139 … 174 Next

Latest posts

  • Kennedy Center Loses Nearly $100 Million After Trump Name Drop
  • Bruno Mars Hits MetLife Stadium Grab Last Minute Tickets Now
  • Dolly Parton Changes Lives With Philanthropy Efforts
  • Confirmed: Reel Of All Your Life’s Bloopers To Be Played When You Arrive In Heaven
  • Rest Of Fantasy League Losing Patience With Player Who Has Other Things Going On In His Life

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.