Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh

Another month, another excuse for Paramount+ to flex its incredibly average library on us Canadians 🇨🇦. Get ready for August 2025, where the streaming gods (or, you know, some marketing intern) promise a deluge of content so thrilling, so innovative, it’ll probably just blend into the background noise of your existential dread 😫. From the triumphant return of Twisted Metal Season 2 (because who asked for that?) to the cinematic masterpiece Cash Out (never heard of it), Paramount+ is really scraping the barrel for your viewing pleasure. Buckle up, butter your popcorn, and prepare to be mildly entertained… or severely disappointed. Either way, they got your subscription money 🤑, so who cares?

With a whole month left for students to bask in the fleeting glory of summer vacation ☀️, Paramount+ decides to unleash its “massive” library. “Massive” is used loosely here; think of it as massive like a black hole – dense, inescapable, and mostly filled with stuff you’ve seen before or actively avoid 🕳️. We’re talking video game adaptations so faithful they’ll make you question the very nature of adaptation, documentaries about fanbases so obsessive they make *you* look well-adjusted, and the premiere of Twisted Metal’s second season which no one needs. Plus, there’s FBI True, for all those who dream of filing paperwork and calling it heroism, and Stans, because who doesn’t love a good look at the dark side of fandom? It’s content, alright.

So, since you’re clearly too lazy to scroll through Paramount+’s algorithm-driven abyss yourself, here are a few “highlights” (and I use that term *very* loosely) to make your browsing experience slightly less painful.

### Twisted Metal

Hosted by a dude named Calypso, John and Quiet are back in the second season of Twisted Metal, battling it out in a demolition derby that makes rush hour look like a tea party 🍵. This season promises even more vehicular mayhem, explosions that defy physics, and plot twists so convoluted they’ll make your brain do a backflip. John apparently reunites with his long-lost sister, Dollface, because family drama is exactly what this show needed. Get ready for more of Sweet Tooth’s antics – because nothing screams quality entertainment like a clown who’s probably on every watch list imaginable🤡.

### FBI True

Dive into the thrilling lives of FBI agents in the seventh season of FBI True! Witness tales of bravery, courage, and filling out expense reports. These agents will share the truth about their jobs, which mostly involves sitting in a dark room, staring at grainy surveillance footage, and drinking lukewarm coffee. Behind-the-scenes drama includes arguments over the office thermostat and who gets to use the good stapler. Learn how they remain calm during stressful situations, like when the vending machine is out of their favorite snack. Riveting stuff🍿.

### Dexter: Resurrection

Because everyone was clamoring for MORE Dexter 🔪, he’s back from the dead (again) in Dexter: Resurrection! After chilling in a coma for a while, Dexter decides to hit up New York City to reconnect with his son, Harrison, presumably to teach him the fine art of wrapping things in plastic wrap. But wait, Miami Metro’s Angel Batista shows up with questions! GASP! Will Dexter evade justice yet again? Will the writers find new and creative ways to butcher this once-beloved character? Tune in to find out!

### Stans

Ever wondered how Eminem’s song “Stan” became a cultural phenomenon? Well, wonder no more! The Stans documentary dives deep into the world of obsessive fandom, exploring the pros and cons of fame (mostly cons, let’s be real) and the dangers of taking your love for a celebrity to creepy levels. Watch as grown adults argue about who’s the “realest” fan and contemplate the existential dread of defining your entire identity through someone else’s art. It’s a cautionary tale, a car crash you can’t look away from, and a reminder to touch grass 🪴.

Check below for even MORE content coming to Paramount+ in August 2025. Because quantity over quality, amirite?

## What’s coming to Paramount+ on July 31st – August 1st

* July 31 – Twisted Metal (Season 2 – Three-episode premiere) – Because one episode a week is SO last decade.
* July 31 – Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (Season 3, New Episode) – Boldly going where every other Star Trek series has gone before.
* August 1 – Laroy, Texas (2023) – Never heard of it, but sounds Texan.
* August 1 – *Resident Evil: The Final Chapter* (2016) – Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
* August 1 – *Chef* (2014) – A feel-good movie to distract you from the existential dread of your streaming choices.
* August 1 – *Dexter: Resurrection* (Season 1 – New Episode) – More Dexter! Because we haven’t suffered enough.

## What’s coming to Paramount+ on August 2 – 12

* August 2 – *Ridiculousness* (Season 43 – All Episodes) – Because watching other people fail is the only way to feel good about yourself.
* August 5 – *The Birthday Cake* (2021) – Probably not as delicious as it sounds.
* August 6 – *The Challenge* (Season 41 – New Episode) – Still going? Wow.
* August 7 – *Twisted Metal* (Season 2 – Two New Episodes) – They just keep coming.
* August 7 – *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* (Season 3, New Episode) – Engage… in mild boredom.
* August 8 – *FBI True* (Season 7 – All Episodes) – For the true crime junkies who prefer paperwork over actual crime.
* August 8 – *Cash Out* (2024) – Still don’t know what this is. Probably for a reason.
* August 8 – *Fury* (2014) – Because who doesn’t love a good war movie to remind them how good they have it?
* August 8 – *Dexter: Resurrection* (Season 1 – New Episode) – He’s back… again.
* August 12 – *Dual* (2022) – Sounds like a headache.

## What’s coming to Paramount+ on August 13 – 22

* August 13 – *Paw Patrol: Jungle Pups* (Special) – For the parents who need a break from reality.
* August 14 – *The Other Guy* (2010) – Probably about a guy who isn’t you.
* August 14 – *Twisted Metal* (Season 2 – Two New Episodes) – More car crashes!
* August 14 – *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* (Season 3, New Episode) – To boldly bore…
* August 15 – *Into The Deep* (2025) – Sounds ominous.
* August 15 – *Salt* (2010) – Angelina Jolie being awesome. We’ll allow it.
* August 15 – *Dexter: Resurrection* (Season 1 – New Episode) – Seriously, just let him stay dead.
* August 19 – *The Adventures of Tintin* (2011) – For the cultured trolls.
* August 21 – *Hitch* (2005) – Will Smith being charming. Before… you know.
* August 21 – *Twisted Metal* (Season 2 – Two New Episodes) – Can’t stop, won’t stop.
* August 21 – *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* (Season 3, New Episode) – Yawn.
* August 22 – *Dead Man’s Hand* (2023) – Probably not about poker.
* August 22 – *Survivor* (2015) – Just like the show, you’re surviving your streaming choices.
* August 22 – *Dexter: Resurrection* (Season 1 – New Episode) – Please, no more.

## What’s coming to Paramount+ on August 26 – 30

* August 26 – *Stans* (2025) – So meta.
* August 26 – *Killing Gunther* (2017) – Sounds violent.
* August 26 – *The Thundermans: Undercover* (New Episode Block) – Superhero family stuff.
* August 28 – *xXx* (2002) – Vin Diesel doing Vin Diesel things.
* August 28 – *Twisted Metal* (Season 2 – Three New Episodes, including the season finale) – The end is near!
* August 28 – *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* (Season 3, New Episode) – Live long and prosper… somewhere else.
* August 29 – *High Rollers* (2025) – Hope it’s not a documentary about your gambling addiction.
* August 29 – *Dating Naked UK* (Season 2) – Because why not?
* August 29 – *Last Survivors* (2021) – You, after watching all this content.
* August 29 – *Dexter: Resurrection* (Season 1 – New Episode) – Is this ever going to end?

Before we wrap this up, Paramount has unveiled *Nerd Out*, a new social media page to gather fans of their movies and series across TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. Because nothing says “genuine connection” like corporate synergy! 🎉

Dave Perry, Vice President of Digital & Social Marketing of Paramount+, shared a canned quote about building a dedicated community and celebrating stories and characters. Basically, they want you to spend more time online, engaging with their brand, and consuming more content. Brilliant! 🧠

So, that’s everything you can expect to watch (or avoid) on Paramount+ in August 2025. If you’re still reading this and haven’t cancelled your subscription yet, you can sign up on their website to binge on the many shows and movies. Or, you know, go outside and enjoy the last days of summer. Your call ☀️.