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Tag: money

Duran Duran Still Alive and Kicking and for Some Reason Headlining BST Hyde Park 2026 Because Apparently We Haven’t Suffered Enough
Breaking, Events, Music News

Duran Duran Still Alive and Kicking and for Some Reason Headlining BST Hyde Park 2026 Because Apparently We Haven’t Suffered Enough

Chord F. DiscordMarch 27, 2026March 27, 2026

Duran Duran are back, because you clearly didn’t get enough of them the first time around 🙄. They’ve been announced…

Netflix Is Raising Prices Again Because You Clearly Have Too Much Money Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Is Raising Prices Again Because You Clearly Have Too Much Money Anyway

FinnMarch 27, 2026March 27, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture! Netflix is raising its prices again, because who doesn’t love paying more for the same service?…

Israeli Foreign Minister says “Not Ruling Out Assassination Plans” as Iran Picks New Supreme Leader – Because Why Not Add More Drama to the Middle East Soap Opera?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Israeli Foreign Minister says “Not Ruling Out Assassination Plans” as Iran Picks New Supreme Leader – Because Why Not Add More Drama to the Middle East Soap Opera?

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Israeli FM Gideon Sa’ar Won’t Rule Out “Military Option” as New Supreme Leader Takes Iran’s Helm In a bombshell interview…

Harry Potter TV Show Trailer Drops, Wizards Everywhere Lose Their Wands Over It
Breaking, Movie News

Harry Potter TV Show Trailer Drops, Wizards Everywhere Lose Their Wands Over It

FinnMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

So, after roughly a billion dollars in merchandising, theme parks, and questionable wizard-themed weddings, the wizarding world is back —…

30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life
Breaking, Movie News

30 Days of Night: Now in 4K Because Your TV Deserves More Vampire Gore in Its Life

FinnMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Oh great, another re-release of a film that’s older than your grandma’s dentures. This time, it’s “30 Days of Night”…

Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Live Nation Antitrust Trial Resuming: Because Apparently Settling Was Too Mainstream

Big ElephantMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Justice Department Caves to Live Nation in Another Biden-Era Softball Settlement Well, well, well, looks like the swamp creatures at…

Nintendo Switch 2: Because Who Needs Sales When You’ve Got a Paperweight?
Well, Well, Well… Looks Like the Switch 2 Is Flopping Harder Than a Magikarp Out of Water ⚽
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Switch 2: Because Who Needs Sales When You’ve Got a Paperweight?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh boy, Nintendo, what happened? The Switch 2 was supposed to be the shiny new toy that would make us…

Oh No, They Added More Places for Hello Kitty to Make You Spend Money in This Island Hellscape DLC
Breaking, Games News

Oh No, They Added More Places for Hello Kitty to Make You Spend Money in This Island Hellscape DLC

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh look, Hello Kitty Island Adventure is getting another DLC! Because apparently, one adorable island paradise wasn’t enough for our…

Pokémon Champions: Because Who Needs a Full Game When You Can Pay for the Privilege? Coming April 8 to Your Wallet’s Doom!
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Champions: Because Who Needs a Full Game When You Can Pay for the Privilege? Coming April 8 to Your Wallet’s Doom!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

Oh, great, another Pokémon game—because clearly, what the world needs now is more ways to watch little creatures punch each…

Prosecutor Confesses: No Evidence, Just Fed-Up Over Powell’s Fancy Office Makeover
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Prosecutor Confesses: No Evidence, Just Fed-Up Over Powell’s Fancy Office Makeover

Big ElephantMarch 25, 2026March 25, 2026

DOJ Prosecutor Admits No Evidence of Fed Crimes, Still Blames Powell Anyway Well, folks, here we go again with the…

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Latest posts

  • Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
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  • All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
  • G7 losers await Trump’s genius Iran deal masterstroke obviously
  • Fake news CNN claims independents abandon patriot party

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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