Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

Barcode To The Rescue Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Barcode To The Rescue Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the humble barcode is getting a major upgrade.…

Florida Voters Decide Who Gets to Follow DeSantis
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Voters Decide Who Gets to Follow DeSantis

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Florida Republicans are gearing up to choose their nominee…

Lakers Owners Can’t Stop Fighting Over Their Own Team
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lakers Owners Can’t Stop Fighting Over Their Own Team

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Los Angeles Lakers, one of the most iconic basketball teams…

Trump Gets Every Single South Korea Fact Wrong Again Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets Every Single South Korea Fact Wrong Again Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest tale about South Korea, and I have to say,…

Paramount demands massive bond from Warner Bros merger opponents
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Paramount demands massive bond from Warner Bros merger opponents

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

Oh boy, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Paramount is asking the states suing over the Warner…

Trump Casually Rewires US Capitalism Behind Smokescreen of Red Scare
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Casually Rewires US Capitalism Behind Smokescreen of Red Scare

Big ElephantAugust 17, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like President Trump is trying to have it both…

RIKKI ROCKETT still playing same old songs because bills dont pay themselves
Breaking, Music News

RIKKI ROCKETT still playing same old songs because bills dont pay themselves

Chord F. DiscordAugust 17, 2026August 17, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some totally-not-desperate attempts to cling to the past? 🙄 Because I’ve got some…

Another Beloved Franchise Sacrificed to the Altar of Endless Merchandising Opportunities
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Another Beloved Franchise Sacrificed to the Altar of Endless Merchandising Opportunities

FinnAugust 16, 2026August 16, 2026

The Kingdom Hearts franchise is getting an anime series, because what’s a beloved gaming property without a TV show, right?…

Doro still rocking at 57 because metal is cheaper than Botox
Breaking, Music News

Doro still rocking at 57 because metal is cheaper than Botox

Chord F. DiscordAugust 15, 2026August 16, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, German metal queen Doro Pesch has revealed that she’s still going strong after four…

Because the World Was Missing a Sequel to a Perfectly Fine Film Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Sequel to a Perfectly Fine Film Apparently

FinnAugust 15, 2026August 15, 2026

Pixar just announced a slew of new projects, because of course they did. As part of their presentation at D23,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 … 155 Next

Latest posts

  • California Bails on Paramount Meeting Amid WBD Takeover Drama
  • Sports teams for sale to billionaires only apparently
  • US Army Helicopters Falling From Sky At Record Pace Somehow Still On Budget
  • US Scores Big Win Against Boat Possibly Carrying Drugs
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump restores energy independence and affordability despite blue state sabotage

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.