Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: money

OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
Breaking, Games News

OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Breaking News: 007 First Light Sells 1.5 Million Units in 24 Hours, Because Who Doesn’t Want to be a Suave…

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
Breaking, Music News

ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

So, you want to know about Alice Cooper’s thoughts on AI in music? Well, buckle up, folks, because the Godfather…

Fake news covering Laos cave rescue instead of MAGA greatness happening
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news covering Laos cave rescue instead of MAGA greatness happening

Big ElephantMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Oh joy, folks, it’s another day in the greatest country on earth, and our amazing President Donald Trump is still…

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway
Oh Joy, Pantera is Back... Sort Of 🤩
Breaking, Music News

CHARLIE BENANTE Obviously The Real Brain Behind PANTERA Hopes To Bless The World With More PANTERA Music Because Lets Be Real He’s The Only One Who Actually Mattered Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

The legendary metal band Pantera is back, but not really 🤔. I mean, it’s not like they’re back with their…

Patriots clash with lib losers at NJ ICE facility standoff
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Patriots clash with lib losers at NJ ICE facility standoff

Big ElephantMay 30, 2026May 30, 2026

Congratulations to us, fellow patriots, for we are living in the greatest era of American history, thanks to our fearless…

Get Ready for the Most Epic Alien Invasion Film Ever Because Steven Spielberg is Finally Going to Reveal the Truth About Earrings and Fashion Disasters from the 80s in Disclosure Day
Breaking News: Aliens Are Coming (Apparently) and We're All Going to Die (Maybe) 🚀👽
Breaking, Movie News

Get Ready for the Most Epic Alien Invasion Film Ever Because Steven Spielberg is Finally Going to Reveal the Truth About Earrings and Fashion Disasters from the 80s in Disclosure Day

FinnMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

If you found out we weren’t alone, if someone showed you, proved it to you, would that frighten you? 🤔…

Three Entirely Not Overhyped or Played Out Simpsons Episodes Are Being Held for Ransom Exclusively on Disney+
Breaking, Movie News

Three Entirely Not Overhyped or Played Out Simpsons Episodes Are Being Held for Ransom Exclusively on Disney+

FinnMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Breaking News: The Simpsons is Leaving Fox, But Let’s be Real, You’re Probably Too Lazy to Notice 🙄. The newest…

Planet Zoo 2 Announced Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on the First One and Now We’re Adding Fish and Birds to Take More of Your Cash
Breaking, Games News

Planet Zoo 2 Announced Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Money on the First One and Now We’re Adding Fish and Birds to Take More of Your Cash

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2026May 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some zoo-tastic news? 🎉🦁 Frontier Developments, the geniuses behind Planet Coaster and Elite:…

Lululemon’s wimpy founder vows not to ruin it for a bit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lululemon’s wimpy founder vows not to ruin it for a bit

Big ElephantMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Wow, what a total disaster, folks, believe me. As of 2026, our great nation, under the incredible leadership of President…

Liberal America starving thanks to Biden’s failed economy policies somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal America starving thanks to Biden’s failed economy policies somehow

Big ElephantMay 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 32 33 34 … 156 Next

Latest posts

  • Report: More Americans Abandoning Lengthy Conversations In Favor Of One Really Big Word
  • Queens of the Stone Age Drop New Album Perfecth and Single
  • ORANGE OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Burger King Tries To Make Chicken Nuggets Less Terrible Apparently
  • ORACLE ALERT: President Donald J Trump denies interfering with French speaking Canadians

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.