Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movies

Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox
Breaking, Movie News

Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox

FinnNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Jason Bateman, bless his heart, is *vaguely* aware that you exist, you degenerate furries, and that some of you are…

Riot’s “Comedy”: Prepare for Disappointment
Live

Riot’s “Comedy”: Prepare for Disappointment

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 29, 2025

Houston, get ready to LOL! 🀣 Riot Comedy Club is THE place for hilarious stand-up featuring Netflix, HBO & Comedy…

OMG! Al Pacino & a Bunch of Other People You Kinda Know Star in Gus Van Sant’s Latest Attempt to Stay Relevant: “Dead Man’s Wire” – Prepare to Be Mildly Underwhelmed
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Al Pacino & a Bunch of Other People You Kinda Know Star in Gus Van Sant’s Latest Attempt to Stay Relevant: “Dead Man’s Wire” – Prepare to Be Mildly Underwhelmed

FinnNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

OMG! 😱😱😱 It’s called Dead Man’s Wire! How original! πŸ™„ Directed by none other than… wait for it… Gus Van…

Macaulay Culkin’s Brain Fart: ‘Home Alone’ Sequel Idea That’ll Make You Facepalm
Breaking, Movie News

Macaulay Culkin’s Brain Fart: ‘Home Alone’ Sequel Idea That’ll Make You Facepalm

FinnNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Ah, Home Alone, that cinematic masterpiece where a child’s neglect turns into a festival of slapstick violence. Truly, a holiday…

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies
Breaking, Music News

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

THE GEMS, the Swedish “hard rock” band featuring former THUNDERMOTHER (more like THUNDER-BORING, amirite?) members Guernica Mancini (vocals – allegedly),…

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Alright, listen up, true believers! 🀑 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…

James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, dear God, someone stop James Cameron! πŸ›‘ I thought slaving away on those never-ending Avatar sequels (how many are…

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…

Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Return To Silent Hill: Because the First One Wasn’t Traumatic Enough

FinnNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, sweet Jesus, another Silent Hill movie? πŸ™„ Because the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces that redefined horror as we…

“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Breaking, Movie News

“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)

FinnNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 57 58 59 … 87 Next

Latest posts

  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Tom Cruise Suffers One of His Lowest Box Office Openings Ever
  • Chance Weighs Dropping First Name For The Rapper Moniker
  • Trump Looms Large Over Supreme Court’s New Term Again Obviously
  • Trump’s Charm Fails To Woo Latino Voters This Time Around

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.