Jackal.Today satirical news site
Jackal.Today satirical news site
Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Sisu, that Finnish flick about an old dude who’s basically a one-man army against…
OMG, you guys! 🙄 Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who peaked in the ’80s and ’90s (no offense, Arnie ❤️), has…
OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one…
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
Okay, so listen up, buttercups 💅. The *Five Nights at Freddy’s* franchise, that cinematic masterpiece of jump scares and animatronic…
OMG! 😱 James Cameron, the guy who brought us underwater CGI blue people and sinking ships, has apparently sworn a…
OMG!😱 Will Vecna, the dude who looks like Voldemort after a bad tanning session, get a REDEMPTION ARC in the…
OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…
Oh, great. 🙄 Just when you thought Hollywood couldn’t sink any lower, they’re making a movie about Labubu. Yes, those…
🤣 Oh, sweet Jesus, they’re STILL trying to make another Star Trek movie? It’s been a whole DECADE since they last boldly…
