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Tag: movies

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Another win for President Trump’s America! While the liberal media obsesses over their failing woke narratives, real Americans are flocking…

Cali Cops Can’t Hide Anymore, Time to See Those Doughnut-Stuffed Cheeks
Elephant Reads CNN

Cali Cops Can’t Hide Anymore, Time to See Those Doughnut-Stuffed Cheeks

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Another day, another ludicrous law from the loony left coast! Governor Newsom, still clinging to his delusion of relevance, has…

Demon Slayer Fans to be Put Out of Their Misery in 2026, Maybe
Breaking, Movie News

Demon Slayer Fans to be Put Out of Their Misery in 2026, Maybe

FinnSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys are NEVER going to believe this! Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle, that anime flick everyone’s drooling over?…

Florida Man Steals $20K From Disney While Dressed as Aquaman’s Less Impressive Cousin
Breaking

Florida Man Steals $20K From Disney While Dressed as Aquaman’s Less Impressive Cousin

FinnSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Breaking News: Some Absolute Mad Lad Robs Disney World Restaurant in Scuba Gear 🤿💰! We can’t even make this stuff…

OMG! Taylor Swift Is Stalking Movie Theaters Near You! Hide Your Popcorn!
Live

OMG! Taylor Swift Is Stalking Movie Theaters Near You! Hide Your Popcorn!

FinnSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

ARE YOU TRIGGERED, SWIFTIES? 🤡 Taylor Swift, the queen of calculated moves and manufactured drama, is allegedly waltzing back into…

Jujutsu Kaisen’s Trailer Just Dropped, Promising More Teenage Angst and Eldritch Abominations in the ‘Culling Game’ (Whatever That Is)
Breaking, Movie News

Jujutsu Kaisen’s Trailer Just Dropped, Promising More Teenage Angst and Eldritch Abominations in the ‘Culling Game’ (Whatever That Is)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! JUJUTSU KAISEN: Execution is here to milk your wallets dry with a “movie” that’s basically just…

“Batman’s Most Important Scene: Prepare to Have Your Mind Mildly Bent”
Breaking, Movie News

“Batman’s Most Important Scene: Prepare to Have Your Mind Mildly Bent”

FinnSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants, for the revelation of the *most important* Batman scene EVER! 🙄 You thought it was the death…

Robert Redford, Aging Heartthrob and Overrated Director, Finally Bites the Dust at Ancient Age of 89
Breaking, Movie News

Robert Redford, Aging Heartthrob and Overrated Director, Finally Bites the Dust at Ancient Age of 89

FinnSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Oh no! 😱 Not another Hollywood legend biting the dust! 🪦 Apparently, Robert Redford, the epitome of blonde-haired, blue-eyed charisma,…

Hollywood’s A-List Drafted: Stars Who Boycotted Israel Are Now Headed to the Front Lines
Shock and Awe in Hollywood: The Real-World Consequences of Signing That Anti-Israel Letter
Movie News

Hollywood’s A-List Drafted: Stars Who Boycotted Israel Are Now Headed to the Front Lines

FinnSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

In a world where a social media “like” is the new Purple Heart and an angry tweet is a feat…

‘The Witcher’ Season 4: Henry Cavill’s Replacement Finally Gets a Premiere Date (Good Luck With That)
Breaking, Movie News

‘The Witcher’ Season 4: Henry Cavill’s Replacement Finally Gets a Premiere Date (Good Luck With That)

FinnSeptember 13, 2025September 13, 2025

When The Witcher returns for its fourth season, things will look a little…dumber? 🤪 Most fundamentally, there’s a new Geralt of Rivia,…

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