Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: movies

So, You Wanna Watch More Aliens, Huh, Nerd
Breaking, Movie News

So, You Wanna Watch More Aliens, Huh, Nerd

FinnAugust 11, 2025August 12, 2025

Prepare your popcorn, butter that stuff UP, and settle in, buttercups, because Alien: Earth is about to grace our screens,…

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…

Thanos: Yeah, I’d Snap Back for the Right Price, Losers
Breaking, Movie News

Thanos: Yeah, I’d Snap Back for the Right Price, Losers

FinnAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Thanos, that big purple grapeπŸ‡ who got turned into dust and then got his head lopped off in Avengers: Endgame…

Bad Guys 2: Prepare for More Mediocrity This August
Live

Bad Guys 2: Prepare for More Mediocrity This August

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 10, 2025

**OMG! πŸ™„ Drive-in movies are back! πŸš—πŸ’¨ Admission: $18-$28 per car (2-6 ppl). Extra peeps? $5 (cash only, obvi). Park…

James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now
Breaking, Movie News

James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now

FinnAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, James Marsden is BACK as Cyclops, you guys! πŸ™„ Because apparently, we haven’t had enough of him squinting through…

‘Good Boy’: Finally, a Movie That Lets You See the World From a Pooch’s Perspective (Probably Full of Squirrels and Fire Hydrants)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Good Boy’: Finally, a Movie That Lets You See the World From a Pooch’s Perspective (Probably Full of Squirrels and Fire Hydrants)

FinnAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, no, not another movie where we have to Google “Does the dog die?” πŸ™„ Seriously, people, toughen up! If…

Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh
Breaking, Movie News

Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Another month, another excuse for Paramount+ to flex its incredibly average library on us Canadians πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦. Get ready for August…

Spider-Man’s New Duds: Tom Holland’s Got a Freshly-Squeezed Suit!
Breaking, Movie News

Spider-Man’s New Duds: Tom Holland’s Got a Freshly-Squeezed Suit!

FinnAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Are you READY for a Brand New Day? πŸ™„ Or, like, another Spider-Man costume that’s totally gonna revolutionize the cinematic…

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)
Breaking, Movie News

Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

Oh, great, more Batman πŸ¦‡. As if we needed another reason to relive the glory days of the late ’80s…

The Fantastic Flop: Deleted Scenes and Cameos They Prayed You’d Never See
Breaking, Movie News

The Fantastic Flop: Deleted Scenes and Cameos They Prayed You’d Never See

FinnAugust 2, 2025August 2, 2025

πŸ˜‚ Oh, sweet summer child, you think you’re getting a serious article? Think again! The Fantastic Four: First Steps, or…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 68 69 70 … 82 Next

Latest posts

  • Punk Rock Icon Cheetah Chrome Dies at 71
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 395: Sept. 13, 2026 β€” 86% Journalism Not Found
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 13 2026 again
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT builds greatest ballroom at White House as gift to USA
  • Trump Spares Ireland’s Booze Because Priorities

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.