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Tag: News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows and Attack on Titan Had a Baby and It’s a Free Quest, OMG
Breaking, Games News

Assassin’s Creed Shadows and Attack on Titan Had a Baby and It’s a Free Quest, OMG

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh, honey, hold my sake! ๐Ÿถ Ubisoft, bless their little corporate hearts, is at it again, unleashing what theyโ€™re calling…

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)
Breaking, Music News

Sex Pistols (feat geriatric Frank Carter) Announce ’50 Years Of Punk (lol)’ Celebration Shows For Summer 2026 (if they’re still alive)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

๐Ÿšจ Breaking News! ๐Ÿšจ The SEX PISTOLS, now featuring the punk rock god Frank Carter (because, let’s face it, someone…

Laura Poitras and Mark Obenhaus are at it again with ANOTHER documentary trailer: Cover-Up
Breaking, Movie News

Laura Poitras and Mark Obenhaus are at it again with ANOTHER documentary trailer: Cover-Up

FinnNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

OMG! ๐Ÿšจ You guys are *not* going to believe this. Another documentary? Seriously? ๐Ÿ™„ It’s called “Cover-Up,” and apparently, it’s…

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

World’s Biggest Company Says “Relax, Bro” – As If We Didn’t Have Enough Problems

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks. CNN is hyperventilating about an “AI bubble” while our GREAT President Trump is leading America…

Beyonce’s Publicist: Black? Groundbreaking | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Beyonce’s Publicist: Black? Groundbreaking | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, CNN, always chasing those hard-hitting stories! Apparently, the fact that Beyonce’s publicist is Black is groundbreaking news now. I…

Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Behold, peasants! Silent Hill 2, the game you’ve all been pretending to care about, has FINALLY graced the glorious Xbox…

North Carolina Man Blames Bald Eagle for Cat-astrophic Windshield Incident, 911 Operator Wonders if It’s a Fur Real Emergency
Eagle Drops Cat on Windshield: A Sign from the Deep State?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

North Carolina Man Blames Bald Eagle for Cat-astrophic Windshield Incident, 911 Operator Wonders if It’s a Fur Real Emergency

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another sign of the impending apocalypse, folks! I bet you won’t hear about this on Fake News CNN…

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again, clutching their pearls because our glorious President Trump dared to…

Genshin Impact’s “Luna 3” Update: Prepare for Disappointment and More Grinding
Breaking, Games News

Genshin Impact’s “Luna 3” Update: Prepare for Disappointment and More Grinding

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Ah, yes, the next “big” update for Genshin Impact is almost here! ๐Ÿ™„ Announced with the usual over-the-top fanfare during…

Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh. My. God. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Is Fortnite Chapter 6 FINALLY ending? Like, seriously, after all this time? They’re calling it “Zero…

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Jackal Todayโ€™s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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