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Tag: News

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret
Breaking News: Red Lobster to Revive Endless Shrimp Promotion, Because Who Needs Financial Stability Anyway? 🍴👀
Breaking, Movie News

BREAKING: Red Lobster Plans to Ruin Your Diet and Relationships with Highly Anticipated Return of the Infamous Endless Shrimp Promotion That Will Obviously End in Carb Coma and Regret

FinnApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Red Lobster is rumored to be bringing back the infamous Endless Shrimp promotion that…

Oh Joy Another Overhyped Game “It Has My Face” Finally Leaves Early Access Because You Clearly Needed More Survival Horror Games With Slightly Different Mechanics And A Creepy Face On The Cover
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy Another Overhyped Game “It Has My Face” Finally Leaves Early Access Because You Clearly Needed More Survival Horror Games With Slightly Different Mechanics And A Creepy Face On The Cover

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

NightByte Games and Behaviour Interactive are finally done messing around with their new game, It Has My Face, and it’s…

Who cares, Iran’s no match for America’s mighty military anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who cares, Iran’s no match for America’s mighty military anyway

Big ElephantApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…

Fake news praising some guy’s space kid again obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news praising some guy’s space kid again obviously

Big ElephantApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

The so-called “experts” and “fact-checkers” are at it again, trying to undermine the greatness of our beloved President Donald Trump…

liberal wimps predict endless war with Iran big shock
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

liberal wimps predict endless war with Iran big shock

Big ElephantApril 3, 2026April 3, 2026

The utter ridiculousness of the so-called “opposition” to our great President Donald Trump is on full display, folks. As of…

Tobias Forge Definitely Not Stalking Anyone But Just Happens to Know Everything About You Case Under Investigation
Breaking News: Woman Charged with Harassment for Sending Tobias Forge a Phone (Yes, You Read That Right) 📱😱
Breaking, Music News

Tobias Forge Definitely Not Stalking Anyone But Just Happens to Know Everything About You Case Under Investigation

Chord F. DiscordApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

According to the super reliable sources at Aftonbladet, a Swedish newspaper that obviously has nothing better to do, a woman…

Ex-THE BLACK CROWES Drummer STEVE GORMAN On Latest ROCK HALL Nomination ‘I’m Secretly Counting Down the Minutes Until I Can Get Back to My Real Passion of Collecting Antique Teapots’
Breaking News: Former Black Crowes Drummer Steve Gorman Totally Not Bitter About Being Excluded from Reunion Tour 🙄
Breaking, Music News

Ex-THE BLACK CROWES Drummer STEVE GORMAN On Latest ROCK HALL Nomination ‘I’m Secretly Counting Down the Minutes Until I Can Get Back to My Real Passion of Collecting Antique Teapots’

Chord F. DiscordApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

The Black Crowes are up for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and former drummer Steve Gorman…

Oh Joy Another Season of Peaky Blinders Because You Clearly Havent Had Enough of Tom Hardy Looking Moody in a Newsboy Cap With a Brand New Star to Make You Forget About All the Other Stars Theyve Killed Off Already
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Season of Peaky Blinders Because You Clearly Havent Had Enough of Tom Hardy Looking Moody in a Newsboy Cap With a Brand New Star to Make You Forget About All the Other Stars Theyve Killed Off Already

FinnApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

The Peaky Blinders franchise is back, because you clearly didn’t get enough of it the first time around 🙄. Just…

Peter Gabriel Finally Emerges From His Cave to Bless Us with New Music That Will Probably Be Played at Every Hippie Wedding for the Next Decade
Breaking News: Peter Gabriel Releases New Track and We're All Still Trying to Figure Out What It Means 🤯
Breaking, Music News

Peter Gabriel Finally Emerges From His Cave to Bless Us with New Music That Will Probably Be Played at Every Hippie Wedding for the Next Decade

Chord F. DiscordApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

Peter Gabriel, the legendary musician and king of confusing album titles, has just dropped a new track called “Till Your…

Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams Reissued Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy Enough Copies the First Time Around and Now You Need to Spend More Money on the Same Songs You Already Know by Heart for the 30th Time
Breaking, Music News

Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams Reissued Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy Enough Copies the First Time Around and Now You Need to Spend More Money on the Same Songs You Already Know by Heart for the 30th Time

Chord F. DiscordApril 2, 2026April 2, 2026

Tina Turner’s Wildest Dreams is being reissued for its 30th anniversary, because who doesn’t love a good throwback 🎉? The…

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Latest posts

  • How Microtransactions Ruined Our Lives And Forced Us To Sell Our Souls For A Few More Gems
  • Marvel’s Wolverine – Get Ready for Another Overhyped Game with Too Many Quick Time Events and a Storyline That’s Just an Excuse for More Mindless Hack and Slash Action
  • Get Ready to Have Your Mind Blown by the Most Epic Guitar Solo Documentary of the Century Featuring the Legendary Peter Frampton Whose Guitar Still Works Better Than Your Love Life
  • Oh Boy Get Ready for Another Soul Sucking Mobile Game Pokémon Champions Is Finally Coming to Ruin Your Life on Android and iOS on June 17
  • Pride Parade Forces To Change Direction After Route Takes It Within 200 Yards Of School

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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