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Tag: News

Mikaël Kingsbury Finally Grabs Gold for Canada, Because Apparently They Needed Someone to Break the Ice First
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mikaël Kingsbury Finally Grabs Gold for Canada, Because Apparently They Needed Someone to Break the Ice First

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Breaking News: Liberal Snowflakes Can’t Handle Mikaël Kingsbury’s Patriotic Gold Medal In yet another stunning display of American exceptionalism (well,…

Robert Duvall, Hollywood Legend and ‘The Godfather’ Star, Dies – Fans Now Forced to Rewatch His Movies Without Him Criticizing the Casting Choices
Breaking, Movie News

Robert Duvall, Hollywood Legend and ‘The Godfather’ Star, Dies – Fans Now Forced to Rewatch His Movies Without Him Criticizing the Casting Choices

FinnFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Hold onto your berets and suspenders, folks, because Hollywood’s grumpiest legend has ridden off into the sunset — and not…

Hostage negotiator weighs in on the ongoing hunt for Nancy Guthrie
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hostage negotiator weighs in on the ongoing hunt for Nancy Guthrie

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Where in the World is Nancy Guthrie? Probably Plotting with Deep State Operatives! CNN, that bastion of fake news and…

Crimson Desert: Where You Pay Full Price, Get Zero Microtransactions, and Still Get Trolled!
Breaking, Games News

Crimson Desert: Where You Pay Full Price, Get Zero Microtransactions, and Still Get Trolled!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Finally, a game that doesn’t want your wallet’s soul! Crimson Desert confirms no microtransactions—but you still have to buy it.…

Events

“Breaking News: Scientists Finally Discover How to Die with Style and a Side of Humor”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 16, 2026

Want to trip before you die? Sign up now! 😎 Dying got you down? EOLPC offers a free 90-minute online…

Rainbow Six Siege Finally Realizes Its Players Deserve a Casino After Losing All Their Money to Microtransactions
Breaking, Games News

Rainbow Six Siege Finally Realizes Its Players Deserve a Casino After Losing All Their Money to Microtransactions

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Move over, actual casinos — Rainbow Six Siege is about to make you irrelevant with its latest map drop, the…

Architect submits most-detailed renderings so far for White House ballroom, proving once again that even the president needs a place to awkwardly dance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Architect submits most-detailed renderings so far for White House ballroom, proving once again that even the president needs a place to awkwardly dance

Big ElephantFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Look, folks—it’s happening! President Trump is making the White House great again with his absolutely incredible new East Wing ballroom!…

Monster Hunter Stories 3 Devs Stole Their Turn-Based Combat Ideas from Metaphor and Expedition 33 Because Why Not?
Capcom Spies on Successful RPGs, Shrugs, Says "We Can Do That Too"
Breaking, Games News

Monster Hunter Stories 3 Devs Stole Their Turn-Based Combat Ideas from Metaphor and Expedition 33 Because Why Not?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh, look! The geniuses behind Monster Hunter Stories 3: Twisted Reflection have discovered something revolutionary: modern RPGs exist and people…

5 Things to Know for Feb. 13: DHS Shutdown, Minnesota Surge Over, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein Fallout, Climate (Because Apparently, the World Still Exists)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things to Know for Feb. 13: DHS Shutdown, Minnesota Surge Over, Nancy Guthrie, Epstein Fallout, Climate (Because Apparently, the World Still Exists)

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

It’s Friday the 13th, when even sensible Americans might knock on wood just in case. While the Left will blame…

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week
Prime Video Just Dropped an International Content Bombshell, and You're Gonna Need a Passport to Keep Up
Breaking, Movie News

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Prime Video decided to flex its global muscles this week, hosting what can only be described as the United Nations…

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Latest posts

  • Democrats Denounce ‘Dirty Trick’ Of Playing Videos Of James Talarico Saying Things
  • Jill Biden Believed Husband Was Having Stroke During Presidential Debate
  • Trump’s doc says get moving fatty but he’s totally fine naturally
  • Liberal Erin Brockovich suddenly cares about America’s tech progress somehow
  • Life Coaching for the Hopelessly Lost and Clueless People

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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