Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…
Tag: Nintendo
gamescom 2025: Prepare for Disappointment — Bigger Than Ever, Apparently
Oh, sweet gamers, brace yourselves! 🤪 Gamescom 2025, that annual pilgrimage to the land of overpriced energy drinks and questionable…
OMG! FromSoftware’s Cooking Up Another Multiplatform Mystery Meat, Prepare for Elden Ring 2.0: Now With 100% More Rolling
OMG! 😱 FromSoftware, those sneaky geniuses, are apparently cooking up ANOTHER game! 🤫 Like, seriously, haven’t they heard of taking…
Donkey Kong Bananza: Prepare for a Barrel of Disappointments on the Switch 2
Another day, another distraction from the REAL issues! CNN, still pushing their globalist agenda with this “Donkey Kong Bananza” on…
Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…
‘The Legend of Zelda’ Casts Actors Who Will Probably Ruin Your Childhood
OMG!😱 The live-action Legend of Zelda is officially happening! But like, is it REALLY a step closer to reality,…
Why Retro Gaming Still Clings to Life in the Year 2024
Okay, boomer, listen up! 👴 Apparently, some 26.7 million of you are still clinging to your ancient Nintendo Entertainment Systems,…
EA Sports FC 26: Zlatan’s Face So Good, It Leaked Before the Trailer Even Breathed
EA has announced that Swedish demigod Zlatan Ibrahimović, the only human to ever bench press a planet, will be the…
Atelier Ryza’s Secret Trilogy Deluxe Pack: Prepare to Be Underwhelmed Live!
Oh, sweet Celestia, did you hear? KOEI TECMO and Gust, those benevolent overlords of the Atelier universe, decided to grace…
Nintendo Panics: Desperate Measures to Keep You From Starving After Buying Our Games
Oh, sweet innocent gamers, gather ’round! Uncle Nintendo, bless his heart, is here to soothe your fragile wallets regarding the…