Cronos: Dawn Breaks, Switch 2 Shakes (and Probably Still Fakes)
Oh, sweet gamers, prepare yourselves for the most thrilling, groundbreaking, and totally-not-derivative experience of the decade! Cronos: The New Dawn,…
Tag: Nintendo
Upcoming Horror Game I Hate This Place: More Like I Hate This Game, Am I Right
Oh, great, another survival horror game! 🙄 As if we needed more jump scares and poorly optimized gameplay. Broken Mirror…
Mario Paint on Switch: Prepare to Unleash Your Inner Picasso (With a Mouse, Seriously?)
Oh, JOY! 🤩 The illustrious Nintendo Switch Online is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with… Mario Paint. Yes, you read…
Frostpunk 2: Now on Consoles, So Your Couch Can Judge Your Terrible City Planning This September
So, the perpetually freezing faction simulator, Frostpunk 2, is FINALLY crawling its way to consoles. Prepare to warm your thumbs…
Xbox Tries Not to Suck: The Outer Worlds 2 Price Plunge and Apology Tour
Oh, sweet gamers, gather ’round and feast your eyes on the latest saga of corporate greed and fanboy tears! 😅
Pokémon Presents July 2025: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by Mediocrity & Mega Dragonite’s Disappointing Debut!
Okay, so the Pokémon Company, bless their cotton socks, decided to grace us with a Summer Pokémon Presents July 2025,…
gamescom 2025: Prepare for Disappointment — Bigger Than Ever, Apparently
Oh, sweet gamers, brace yourselves! 🤪 Gamescom 2025, that annual pilgrimage to the land of overpriced energy drinks and questionable…
OMG! FromSoftware’s Cooking Up Another Multiplatform Mystery Meat, Prepare for Elden Ring 2.0: Now With 100% More Rolling
OMG! 😱 FromSoftware, those sneaky geniuses, are apparently cooking up ANOTHER game! 🤫 Like, seriously, haven’t they heard of taking…
Donkey Kong Bananza: Prepare for a Barrel of Disappointments on the Switch 2
Another day, another distraction from the REAL issues! CNN, still pushing their globalist agenda with this “Donkey Kong Bananza” on…
Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…